Letter to Slate subjected to doubt!

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2020

Even Slate can no longer be sure:
To make it in the modern media world, you have to dumb it way down. This very morning, over at Slate, the fun got started like this:
RICH JUZWIAK / JAN. 22, 2020 / 5:55 AM
I Live With Six Brothers and Have Sex With Two of Them. What Should I Call This?

JAMILAH LEMIEUX / JAN. 22, 2020 / 6:00 AM
Dear Care and Feeding: How Do We Stop Our Adopted Daughters From Fighting Over a Modeling Internship?

DANNY M. LAVERY / JAN. 22, 2020 / 6:00 AM
Help! Should We Let Our Flower Girl Walk Down the Aisle With Her Dead Sister?
You know? Basic life issues like those! Two hours later, it was this:
DANNY M. LAVERY / JAN. 22, 2020 / 8:00 AM
Help! My Friend Has Been Sharing Photos She Took of Me While I Was in a Coma.
Are you starting to see what we mean? Once again, basic life problems, not infrequently targeted at folk who were once in a coma.

A month or two back, we asked if we were really supposed to believe that these alleged problems were on the level. And hallelujah:

At the start of the month, one alleged problem seemed so absurd that even the journalists at Slate admitted they couldn't feel sure.

The problem had been sent to Stoya and Juzwiak, or so we were led to believe. Their report was headlined like this:
STOYA AND RICH JUZWIAK / JAN. 2, 2020 / 6:30 PM
Is It Unhealthy That I Paid My Best Friend to Have Sex With Me?
Again, a typical real-life concern, the kind they handle at Slate.

Stoya and Juzwiak began by responding, in typical fashion, to the highly believable real-life story they had received in the mail. Eventually, though, even they had to crack! Their analysis continued as shown:
Stoya: I think our writer is fooling himself to a certain degree. “Checking to see if we have compatible kissing styles” feels pretty sexual to me.

Rich: yeah, I mean, that almost reads like a fantasy scenario. “Oh I’m doing this … for science.” “I’m Doctor Love and I’m going to examine your mouth with my tongue.”

Stoya: So I’m not the only one somewhat skeptical of the truthfulness of this letter?

Rich: It definitely seems at least a little strange, especially the chain of events regarding his divorce and settlement. I always feel paranoid that someone will troll us by sending in a synopsis of a movie in the hopes of flying under our radar and us taking it seriously.

Stoya: I wouldn’t mind doing that, though. It could make a fun column. Dating advice for rom-coms.

Rich: That particular flourish—”During the conversation, I got a notification on my banking app that a sizable amount of money from the divorce settlement had been paid to me. It felt like the stars were aligned, so I paid some money to her straight away”—feels very scripted.
The ersatz life doctors continued from there, wondering if the letter was real.

Here at The Howler, the analysts lustily cheered. Finally! Finally, Slate's experts had received a letter which seemed so transparently fake that even they had been able to notice!

These columns have crept, then spread at Slate. They reflect a cultural drift which despondent future experts describe as "a vast stable dumbness."

The bosses at Slate have been dumbing it down. The dumbness isn't just found Over There, it's also widespread among Us.

14 comments:

  1. "They reflect a cultural drift which despondent future experts describe as "a vast stable dumbness.""

    It's not any "cultural drift", dear Bob.

    It's just your liberal comrades, who have never done an honest day's job in their lives, trying to entertain themselves. Their zombie time-killing routine.

    And therefore, dear Bob, normal, tolerant human beings simply ignore this shit. And you can do it too. Don't step in it; walk around.

    ReplyDelete
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    2. I see Trump wants to cut Social Security and Medicare benefits to pay for the HUGE tax break he gave the establishment.

      Mao Cheng Ji?
      Just change your name to "Mark", so you won't forget your place in Trump's world.

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  2. ‘These columns have crept, then spread at Slate. They reflect a cultural drift which despondent future experts describe as "a vast stable dumbness."’

    How are you gonna stay in business if you don’t try to appeal to readers and potential subscribers?

    It’s a problem that bloggers using the Google blogging platform don’t have to face.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people."

    attributed to H. L. Menken

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you Steve Mnuchin call out Greta Thunburg at Davos, because she didn't get a degree in Economics.

      First of all, the Mnuchins of the world (Republicans) don't listen to economists. Secondly, Thunburg is a teenager. That means she's more than 7-years old. The idea that Steve Mnuchin knows more about economics than your average 7-year old is laughable.

      Delete
  4. Those columns at Slate do not represent a cultural drift. There has always been this stuff at the edges of journalism. It was in papers such as Star or National Enquirer.

    Where was Somerby when those papers were publishing articles about Hillary Clinton's alien baby? Crickets.

    People are no better and no worse than they have ever been when it comes to this kind of stuff. For many, it is a guilty pleasure. It seems pretty harmless to me, because it does not replace actual literature or hard news or any other worthwhile form of writing or entertainment. They coexist.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 'The dumbness isn't just found Over There, it's also widespread among Us.'

    Of course, Trumptards are known to be dumb.

    ReplyDelete
  6. When I was in college, there was a debate ongoing among boys about whether the Playboy letters were real. This sounds like more of the same. Shouldn't Somerby have grown up by now?

    ReplyDelete
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