But her memory seems very bad: Maureen Dowd is righteously angry about all those ugly attacks.
Then too, Maureen Dowd basically lies in her sleep. Can you spot the problem with this?
DOWD (7/18/12): Usually, at this stage of a presidential campaign, Republicans are doing a much better job of sullying the Democratic candidate as un-American.Truly, that is superlative clownistry! Did you spot the problem with that?
Michael Dukakis was accused of having a funny last name and failing to say the Pledge of Allegiance 10 times a day. John Kerry was faulted for acting French and eating Philly cheese steaks with Swiss cheese. Al Gore was into the earth and earth tones—need we say more?
Dowd is certainly right on one score. Over the past thirty years, Republicans have often seemed to sully the American-ness of Big Dems.
But good God! Was it “Republicans” who trashed Candidate Gore about earth tones? Or was it someone named Dowd?
DOWD (11/3/99): The Alpha-Beta MacarenaIn fact, Time magazine has said no such thing; Dowd's statement was flat-out wrong. But so what! Her second such column on this key topic appeared one week later:
I will say this in Naomi Wolf's favor: You've got to respect a woman who gets a vice president to pay her a salary higher than his own.
Time magazine revealed that Al Gore hired Ms. Wolf, who has written extensively on women and sexual power, as a $15,000-a-month consultant to help him with everything from his shift to earth tones to his efforts to break with Bill Clinton.
DOWD (11/10/99): The Pals and Palettes of AlUh-oh! The candidate had snarked back at Dowd! People!
DATELINE: ABOARD AIR FORCE TWO
So Al and I are dishing about clothes.
With this White House, I'm safe. The deeply important issues are sex and clothes.
I ask the vice president about his new color palette. He's in his casual uniform, a blue shirt to bring out his eyes, a heathery brown sweater, khakis and black cowboy boots.
"Tipper picks out my clothes," he says quickly, before I have a chance to mention That Woman Naomi.
Don't his beta earth tones undercut his alpha message?
Mr. Gore looks annoyed, even though a couple of his aides (dressed just like him) have cut out the picture of an ape from a Times story on alphas and are making jokes about "going ape" over stuff.
He points at my skirt. "You like the greens and the reds," he says, drolly. "That's a good combination. D'you do that yourself?"
That isn’t allowed!
Sorry, Fionnula! It wasn’t “Republicans” who diddled themselves (and the nation) with earth tones; it was disgraceful people like Dowd! Two weeks later, the broken-souled loser decided to go there again:
DOWD (11/24/99): And She's Off!Hillary Clinton had worn a brown suit! And Gore had a brown suit too!
We knew she was running when she showed up in earth tones.
Like Al Gore, Hillary Rodham Clinton stepped onto the stage in New York all toasty-looking in a brown suit. "So the answer is yes," she said with a huge smile, like a blushing fiancee.
Truth to tell, Dowd never let up with the earth tones. In 2006, to cite one example, she fell off her meds once again:
DOWD (5/24/06): Enter Ozone WomanClinton had spoken about climate change. Inside Dowd’s degenerating brain, it was time to talk earth tones again!
Al Gore must want to punch Hillary Clinton right through the hole in the ozone layer.
At the National Press Club here yesterday, the New York senator finally took a passionate stand. After giving a courteous nod to her old rival Al as ''a committed visionary on global warming,'' she purloined his issue and his revolution, going his Earth Tones in the Balance one better by wearing a blinding yellow pantsuit that looked as if it could provide solar power to all of Tennessee.
Hillary Clinton was now Ozone Woman! A nation willing to play this way has little real chance to survive.
One year later, the New York Times filed a formal correction reversing eight years of earth tones clatter. Naomi Wolf had nothing to do with earth tones, the newspaper officially said, failing to say how they knew this or why we were supposed to care about such complete crap in the first place.
But no, Fidelma, it wasn’t “Republicans” who played you for fools in this manner. And it wasn’t exactly “Republicans” who pimped all that shit about cheese steaks:
DOWD (4/21/07): Running With ScissorsWhere so you go to get that dumb? For the record, there is no evidence that Bush 41 ever asked for that still-famous “splash” of coffee. It seems Dowd may have invented that too.
Whether or not the country is ready to elect a woman president or a black president, it's definitely not ready for a metrosexual in chief.
In presidential politics, it's all but impossible to put the man into manicure. Be sensitive, but not soft. Effete is never effective. Not much has changed since George H. W. Bush drove his New Hampshire campaign off the road by requesting ''a splash'' more coffee at a truck stop.
John Kerry sank himself by windsurfing in spandex and ordering a cheese steak in Philly with Swiss instead of Cheez Whiz.
One year later, the Wonder Boy made her think of those cheese steaks again:
DOWD (4/16/08): The last few weeks have not been kind to Hillary, but the endless endgame has not been kind to the Wonder Boy either. Obama comes across less like a candidate in Pennsylvania than an anthropologist in Borneo.We’ll say again what we’ve said many times: It’s astonishing that the “liberal world” has tolerated a person like Dowd. Such a movement deserves to fail, and will continue to do so.
He hasn't pulled a John Kerry and asked for a Philly cheese steak with Swiss yet, but he has maintained a regal ''What do the simple folk do to help them escape when they're blue?'' bearing, unable to even feign Main Street cred. But Hillary did when she belted down a shot of Crown Royal whiskey with gusto at Bronko's in Crown Point, Ind.
This morning, Dowd’s boxed sub-headline tells us this:
“Kerry’s Swiss cheese gaffe pales next to Mitt’s Swiss bank gaffe.”
This time, Dowd is making up shit on our side. If we care about long-term results, that state of affairs is almost as bad as having her working against us.
Tomorrow: Chris Matthews is righteously angry