THE RATIONAL ANIMAL WALK: Avenatti supplied five names!

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2018

What happened when NBC asked: "You can't fix stupid," the columnist said.

Because "stupid" generally reads as an insult, we decided to clean up his comment. Yesterday, we skillfully said that he really meant:

Simply put, you can't fix human. There is no cure for that.

Today, we'll admit that even we succumbed, in recent weeks, to the temptation of human. We did so when the Kavanaugh clash led us away from our earlier, high-minded pledge—from our pledge to examine certain "philosophical" topics, while leaving the world of the American public discourse behind.

The blinding stupidity of liberal discourse had made that previous effort pointless. Or so we said, until the dumbness of the Kavanaugh clash drew us in again.

In fairness to us, our own tribe's spectacular dumbness had been both transplendent and general. For one example, consider what Chris Hayes reported, ever-so-briefly but still to his credit, back on October 1.

Michael Avenatti, an obvious con man, had become a liberal god through his representation of Stormy "Stephanie Clifford" Daniels, another fairly obvious hustler and all-around fraudster. Just as conservatives can't see through ridiculous people like Rush and Sean, we liberals can't seem to see through ridiculous hustlers like Avenatti and Clifford.

Avenatti had become a god through his representation of Clifford. Now, he had produced the latest accuser of Kavanaugh!

Her name was Julie Swetnick. Her accusations were thrilling, but were her claims actually true?

NBC News asked Barrister Bluster if his client had any corroboration for her admittedly thrilling claims. To Hayes' credit, he ever-so-briefly let us know what happened when NBC asked:

HAYES (10/1/18): So far, three women have stepped forward to accuse Brett Kavanaugh, on the record, of sexual misconduct or sexual assault. And one of those women, Julie Swetnick, has now given her first interview to NBC News senior national correspondent Kate Snow.

Swetnick does not accuse Kavanaugh himself of sexual assaulting her, but of being present at a party where she says she was gang raped.

Tonight, NBC News has not been able to independently corroborate Swetnick's claims. When we asked her attorney, Michael Avenatti, for any witnesses who could back up Swetnick's account, he provided four names of friends Swetnick says went to parties with her. One of them says he does recall anyone named Julie Swetnick. Another of the friends is deceased.

NBC News has reached out to the other two and has not heard back. Swetnick's mother's name was also provided, but she too is deceased.

By now, Swetnick was accusing Kavanaugh "of being present at a party where she says she was gang raped." As Hayes and Snow went on to note, Swetnick had walked back the original thrilling claims in her original sworn statement, which Avenatti had thrillingly produced.

By now, "Swetnick [did] not accuse Kavanaugh himself of sexual assaulting her," Hayes was willing to note. That said, the pathetic part of Hayes' remarks involve what happened when NBC News asked Barrister Bluster "for any witnesses who could back up Swetnick's account" of the parties at which she now said wasn't assaulted by Kavanaugh.

Avenatti provided five names. Pitifully, let's re-post Hayes' account of what happened next:

HAYES: NBC News has not been able to independently corroborate Swetnick's claims. When we asked her attorney, Michael Avenatti, for any witnesses who could back up Swetnick's account, he provided four names of friends Swetnick says went to parties with her. One of them says he does recall anyone named Julie Swetnick. Another of the friends is deceased.

NBC News has reached out to the other two and has not heard back. Swetnick's mother's name was also provided, but she too is deceased.

According to Hayes, our most brilliant liberal god had given NBC News five names. Two of these corroborating witnesses turned out to be dead.

A third of Avenatti's corroborators said that he or she can't recall anyone named Julie Swetnick. The other two didn't call back.

So it went when Barrister Bullroar gave NBC five names. On the one hand, this was just the latest gong show from the ridiculous Avenatti. But in truth, this kind of embarrassing, pre-rational nonsense has been general all through our liberal world in recent weeks, and in the past thirty years.

Avenatti supplied the names of at least two witnesses who are dead. To Hayes' credit, he did report this pitiful fact, though very much in passing.

Elsewhere, we liberals were kept from hearing about Avenatti's latest gong show. Almost surely, he'll soon be back on the air with Lawrence, with Lawrence staring at him in such rapt admiration that the analysts will surely shout that they need to go rent a room!

To his limited credit, Hayes briefly reported this tribal idiot's latest pathetic gong show. Elsewhere, we liberals have been spared the pain of knowing that this occurred.

Over on Fox, by way of contrast, viewers have heard all about this sort of thing from Avenatti. It's one more example of a fairly recent phenomenon, in which Fox viewers actually receive more information about various matters than we bottle-fed liberals do.

You can't fix [human], that columnist said. Beyond that, you plainly can't fix tribal.

In recent weeks, as in the past thirty years, we liberals have plainly established that we're extremely "human." Over those previous years, we helped build the world which has given us Trump in the White House. As the world has become more tribal, our "human" impulses have surfaced to an even greater degree.

When we went on our autumn vacation last weekend, we listened to Krista Tippett's weekly NPR program. We've long admired Tippett's sensibility, but we actually found this last program inspiring.

That said, the program aired in the midst of a vast sea of tribal stupidity. It drew us away from our earlier resolve—away from from the loftier story to which we expect to return next week

To his limited credit, Hayes ever-so-briefly let us know about Avenatti's latest folly. Aside from that, we liberals have been kept in the dark about Barrister Bluster, while our counterparts who watch Fox News are being more fully informed.

This is happening more and more often. You can't fix stupid, one columnist said. Also, you can't fix blindingly tribal (and corporate) to the point of dishonest, a point we'll consider tomorrow.

Today's report should be read to the tune of The Baby Elephant Walk. Baby elephants can be lots of fun. Our own species' Rational Animal Walk can, of course, be more destructive.

Tomorrow: Our Own Rhodes Scholar played us again. But then, what else is new?