FLYWEIGHTS: The nominee uses a lot of hair product!

FRIDAY, JANUARY 17, 2025

The governor also uses: Let the word go forth to the nations:

Peter Hegseth, the Trump nominee, uses a ton of hair product!

Stating the obvious, it's his perfect right to do so. At this site, we're inclined to think it's a slightly odd look. But then again, who really cares?

Earlier this very week, on Tuesday's edition of The Five, we (once again) got to find out. 

Judge Jeanine, the program's vaunted resident loudmouth, was (once again) back in her seat at the end of the table—and she was prepared to sound off. 

As the day and the week would unfold, Jesse and Greg would engage in the towel-snapping bro-boy behavior with which they punctuate the pseudo-discussions on this defiantly stupid TV show. The gang of four would leap to over-talk Jessica Tarlov if she started to make a strong point.

Those practices would prevail. But at long last, after holiday breaks, the resident loudmouth was back in her chair. 

Following on David Brooks' recent point, no modern nation can expect to survive in the face of dumbness this dumb. We're speaking about the disastrous Los Angeles fires, and about the use of hair product. 

The resident dumbbells on this low-IQ show had dumbed down discussion of those fires since Wednesday of the previous week. But on this particular day, the resident loudmouth was back.

She was introducing the TV show's second segment. Eager to showcase her state of mind, the dumbest of all offered this:

JUDGE JEANINE (1/14/25): The danger in California is far from over. L. A. firefighters continue to be on high alert as extreme winds continue to turbo-charge the monstrous wildfires that have already killed 24 people.

And as brave firefighters battle to put out the flames, desperate Gavin Newsom is busy picking a fight with Elon Musk. He's posted twice on social media about the world's richest man, accusing the billionaire of spreading, quote, lies about the state's response. He also says that Musk is, quote, encouraging looting.

But California voters are tired of Greasy's failed leadership. Newsom is facing a growing recall attempt to knock him out of office.

Her intro continued from there.

As she started, the judge had been reading from prompter. Then she inserted one of her favorite nicknames into the dumbness to come.

Governor Newsom (D-Cal.) is routinely referred to as "Newscum" by the astoundingly childish President Donald J. Trump. When this resident loudmouth swings into action, he's also referred to as "Greasy."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Even as 24 people are dead, this stupid program's misused viewers are encouraged to enjoy all the fun. 

Briefly, let's be fair! In one respect, this example of stupidified conduct was built on a factual base:

Governor Newsom does use a lot of hair product! He may use as much as (future) Secretary Hegseth, though it would probably be a close race.

Newsom and Hegseth both use a ton of hair product, but only one gets dismissed as "Greasy" on this gruesome TV show. Indeed, here's the way this loudmouth "judge" had discussed the greatness of the other greaseball in that same program's first segment:

JUDGE JEANINE (1/14/25): I'm so proud of him. I really am. Look, he's going to bring the warrior culture back and he sat there and knowing that there were a lot of things that they were going to come at him with. And he was cool, calm, steady and prepared. 

And he was willing to admit what a lot of Democrats who want to take the moral high ground cannot admit, and that is, "I made mistakes. And I've made amends to my God and to my wife. And I'm good. And I'm better for it."...

And I love that he comes from the military mindset. I love that he loves the warriors as much as he does. And he is a guy who is not beholding to any of the defense contractors or any of the big companies. He's not a part of that.

This is a kid who believes in America. He believes in the fact that we need the strongest, most lethal fighting force of men, and women to the extent that they are in a position to be able to fight as well. And he's all-American. And I just—I'm so proud of him. I mean, I was almost moved to tears.

And I love that he hates DEI. It has no place in the military...

The judge briefly continued from there, expressing her admiration for the all-American "kid" who will soon, for better or worse, be secretary of defense. 

Stating the obvious, the judge was every right to her views about Nominee Hegseth. Also, she has every right to her views about DEI, whatever she might mean by that. 

Continuing right along, she has every right to her views about Governor Newsom. But only one of those two fellows was derided as "Greasy" on Tuesday evening's gong-show. This whole channel works like that.

The baldly disordered Donald J. Trump loves the use of insulting nicknames in the profoundly childish pseudo-discussions he likes to bring forth on the land. Judge Jeanine isn't far behind in the steady dumbnification she brings to our failing discourse.

Newsom is "Greasy;" Hegseth isn't. Even as brave firefighters struggle o extinguish the flames, viewers of this corporate propaganda channel are encouraged to enjoy all the fun: 

The boys engage in their towel-snapping. Occasionally, they enjoy some apparent misogyny. The ladies of Fox all look away while the two bros enjoy this fun. When Tarlov's comments get too sharp, the others leap to overtalk her. 

This is the way this imitation of life operates on a daily basis. Currently, it's the most-watched TV show in all of "cable news."

Stating the obvious, Judge Jeanine is entitled to her views about the two public figures in question. On this occasion, one had almost moved her to tears. The other had brought out the 5-year-old child within her loudmouth persona.

The judge is entitled to her views; imaginably, some of her views may be accurate! But every viewer of this defiantly stupid TV show knew who was talking about when she aimed her jibe at "Greasy." This low-IQ conduct is thoroughly general over the IQ-draining programs of the Fox News Channel.

This flyweight behavior is general! At the start of yesterday afternoon's The Five, resident "silly boy" Jesse Watters introduced the program's opening segment. The segment involved a pseudo-discussion of President Biden's "farewell address." 

Sure enough! Right from the jump, at 5 o'clock sharp, Watters referred to Biden as "Dark Brandon." One minute later, Biden was referred to as "Old Yeller" as a thoroughly stupidified pseudo-discussion was born.

These is who, and this is what, these corporate messengers are. Later, it was on to the inevitable "Shifty Schiff" as the pitiful Katy Pavlich moderated the program's second segment. 

Mocking nicknames are general over Fox News as the net's children hold forth.

And then, five hours later, the inevitable deluge, on Gutfeld! To see the inevitable suggestion that President Biden had pooped in his pants as he gave that farewell address, you can just click here, though we'll warn you what brain cells will die whenever you watch this program.

(That inevitable suggestion arrived at 10:02 p.m. The program's 60-year-old host had already offered this analysis of the address: "Biden said, quote, Americans are being buried under misinformation. As opposed to Joe, who will soon be buried under six feet of fresh dirt.")

So it goes on the Fox News Channel. No modern nation can survive the firestorm of prehuman conduct which prevails at that site.

Full disclosure! Not so long ago, we didn't realize that human beings could ever be this dumb. We wouldn't have known that people can be paid to behave in these ways.

For today, we're going to skip saying the names of all the people who performed on these shows. But democracy dies in the clutches of such employees.

Starting next week, we'll start to tell you more about who these lunkheads are. We'll even start to tell you about their bosses.

For today, we'll leave it at this:

Pete Hegseth uses a lot of product. So does Gavin Newsom!

Only one get derided as "Greasy." The other moves the Fox News Channel's resident loudmouth almost to the point of tears.

Can a modern nation survive this assault on human intelligence? Can democracy die in dumbness?

As we noted yesterday, David Brooks says he's not sure. We would be inclined to suspect that this war has already been lost. 

Under modern arrangements, this infestation of flyweights is remarkably widespread. Given the very large profits involved, we're not sure that there's a way back.

Each fellow uses a lot of product. Let the insults begin!