The New York Times takes it from there: We kid you not. Yesterday morning, the "Here to Help" feature on the New York Times' page A3 took a gloomy turn.
Someone at the Times was scared. Here's how the feature started:
Here to HelpThe feature helped us know what to include in eight categories, including Mylar Blankets and Dust Masks. Was this "Here to Help" feature really a comment on President Donald J. Trump?
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We don't know, but we kid you not. The day before, the "Here to Help" feature started like this:
Here to HelpWe get an eyeroll every morning as we scan A3. This morning, in the "Of Interest" feature, this "noteworthy fact" appeared:
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Of InterestInstantly, we handed it off to our computational mathematics division, asking them to conduct a thorough review of the numbers. After several seconds of work, we were handed these facts:
NOTEWORTHY FACTS FROM TODAY'S PAPER
As the host of "CNN Tonight," Don Lemon is on the air about 260 days a year.
There are 52 weeks in the year. Multiply by five nights per week. Your answer will be 260.
That noteworthy fact was pulled from this timely, sprawling portrait of Lemon's "grooming routine." Lemon's first quoted statement was this:
"I live by coconut oil and argan oil."
We've sometimes suspected as much!
The piece was written by Bee Shapiro. Aside from her position at the Times, Shapiro is founder of Ellis Brooklyn, "a luxury, eco and sustainable fragrance and bodycare company based in Williamsburg, Brooklyn."
Is any of this a conflict of interest? We aren't sure we can tell.
At any rate, Shapiro reported that Lemon "is on the air around 260 days a year" right in her opening sentence. At page A3, someone else apparently felt that this was a noteworthy fact.
Are we best seen as "the rational animal" or as malfunctioning androids? About 365 days a year, the question crosses our mind.