THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2011

Lady Collins—and a dog and a joke—are back: Did you think your troubled nation was confronting extremely tough issues? Sorry—you were wrong. To wit:

The highest lady, the high Lady Collins, has been away on “book leave.” Sadly, the lady is back. Needless to say, by paragraph 3, she’s talking about Romney’s hair:

COLLINS (9/8/11): Debating With the Stars

It was a dark and stormy night.

Except in those parts of the country where it was dry and fire-prone. But what did America care about the weather when it had the chance to forget about its troubles on Wednesday night and curl up with eight candidates for the Republican presidential nomination?

The voters have a lot to figure out. What would it be like to have a president who continually tells the country he’s going to get the working class workin’? And is there something going on with Mitt Romney’s hair? The dark part is looking darker and those little white tufts around the ears are getting whiter. It makes his forehead look as if it’s levitating.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! And before too long, the high lady went there! As she pondered last night’s debate, a familiar voice sounded between her ears. just like that, she found herself typing about Mitt Romney’s poor abused dog:

COLLINS: I was sorry that no one asked Perry more of the really critical questions. For instance, is it true that he saved his daughter’s puppy from being eaten by a coyote? This allegedly happened when Perry went jogging “packing a Ruger .380 with laser sights and loaded with hollow-point bullets.” Because, as he says, he is “that kind of guy.” His puppy-rescue is a stirring picture, especially considering that Perry’s chief competitor is the man who drove to Canada with the family dog Seamus strapped to the roof of the car.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Wonderfully comical high Versailles clowning about “the really critical questions!” Just like that, this became the nineteenth column in which this highest, most fatuous lady has mentioned that poor roof-strapped dog.

The lady had two more plays in her book as she showed us how royals amuse themselves with affairs which affect just the help.

On-line, the lady has now cleaned things up. But in our hard-copy Times, she included this passage—and she offered no mitigation:

COLLINS: The current front-running Mitt Alternative is Rick Perry, possibly the first major presidential candidate opposed to the direct election of U.S. senators since the advent of the Bull Moose Party. He did not do anything super weird, unless you count claiming that the reason a quarter of the Texas population has no health insurance is because of government interference.

In the high lady’s hard-copy column, it didn’t count as “super weird” that Perry kept calling Social Security a “Ponzi scheme.” People! Concerns like those are concerns of the droogs! On-line, we see that the lady—or one of the help—has added a belated line about that important topic.

Presumably, Perry’s language didn’t strike this high lady as weird—until she learned that the workers in the TV wing were talking all about it.

We were struck by one more part of the hard-copy column, a passage where this haughty high lady mentioned a famous old “joke.” If you want to know how the liberal world had gotten destroyed in the past thirty years, just consider the mentality behind this amused and amusing passage. On-line, this comical passage has now been disappeared:

COLLINS: Republicans, do you want to trust your nomination to a guy [Perry] who makes Mitt Romney look clever? Even during a debate when he told the Al Gore Internet joke? Just think about it.

Romney did tell that famous old “joke”—the “joke” that sent George Bush to the White House, the “joke” that cost hundreds of thousands of lives. But to royals like this horrible lady, that death-dealing slander remains a joke—a source of amusement and pleasure.

Tomorrow, we’ll have a bit more about last night’s repeated use of that joke. We’ll also discuss that “Ponzi scheme” claim, aboutwhich must will be said. For today, we’ll only suggest that you ponder the soul of this highest societal lady.

She’ll soon be on Maddow’s show again; Maddow will be kissing her keister, as she always does. For our money, this highest lady has now surpassed even Dowd as the avatar of this empty-souled class. But the liberal world keeps gulping her beer—and our millionaires kiss her high keister.

Final question: Can you imagine the type of “book” this high lady must have been typing?