BREAKING: Things you won't see on cable news!

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 21, 2018

Who cares about girls in Nigeria: We were lucky enough to watch the PBS NewsHour during last evening's 6 PM hour.

We simply couldn't take watching Michael Avenatti any more. At one point during this same hour, this monster of slime offered this:

AVENATTI (3/20/18): Ari, I'm used to playing chess, OK, in my cases. And I've had the good fortune to go up against some really good chess players from around this country.

MELBER: Is Michael Cohen playing chess with you?

AVENATTI: Well, let me just say this—really good chess players. I mean, lawyers at the top of their game, really good lawyers that are really good chess players, OK? And I like to count myself as a pretty good chess player.

Right now, we're playing three-dimensional chess, and these guys are playing tic-tac-toe, quite honestly. And they're not even playing tic-tac-toe that well, all right?

Plainly, no one exceeds this master of all his domains! Unable to watch another word, we flipped over to PBS, and watched a deeply humane, if appalling, report about the lost girls of Nigeria.

We recommend that you watch the whole segment, but especially the interviews, which begin just after the 2-minute mark.

Judy Woodruff interviewed two young women, apparently still in their late teens, who were abducted by Boko Haram but eventually escaped. Soon, we were watching a spectacularly beautiful young woman saying this, in somewhat stilted translation:

YA KAKA (3/20/18): We suffered a lot. It was rough treatment every day.

My first husband among the insurgents was one of the people that abducted me. After having sex with me, he would send me out naked into the camp. Other insurgents would drag me and have sex with me.

When I returned, he knew exactly that his own fellow insurgents had had sex with me. But he flogged me for wasting time. That was my daily life.

I delivered a baby boy before I escaped with three other abductees.

If only she'd learned to play a more skillful brand of chess!

The stories become much more horrific from there. We strongly suggest that you watch the tape.

(Just in case you've forgotten, through watching cable, what real human beings are like.)

Meanwhile, on our own Corporate Liberal Channel, the brilliant star of three-dimensional chess was still saying things like this, with Ari Melber and Joyce Vance establishing a basic principle of modern "journalism"—no one escapes from cable news with his or her soul intact:

MELBER: Do you have evidence that Michael Cohen would know about the physical threats allegation you have made?

AVENATTI: I'm not going to answer the question as to what we have and what we don't have. But here is what I will say. People should be very careful about representations they make, unequivocal reputations. That's what I'm going to say.

MELBER: Joyce, your thoughts on any of the above?

VANCE: Well, it sounds like there is a little bit more evidence that Mr. Avenatti has that we'll all learn about in the future. There has been at least some indication that there is additional evidence, that there are documents. I think he said that.

Gruesome. We watched the PBS segment again during the 7 PM hour. As we flipped back and forth to CNN, it was hard to avoid the ugliness in the contrast. Also, the lack of interest in the world which is being visited upon the American people by our cable distraction machines.

We strongly suggest that you watch Woodruff's ten minutes of interviews, or at least that you read the full transcript. As you do, understand this:

You will never see such topics explored on prime time "liberal" cable. Prime time cable has long been all about The Chase—and now, it's all about The Sex. Beyond that, it's about applauding the horrible, disordered conduct of people like Avenatti and his client.

In his astounding Second Inaugural address, Lincoln said we'd all created the disaster which had been visited on us. Watching Melber and Avenatti as Woodruff interviewed those young women, we could see how hard we moderns have worked, for the past thirty years, to earn the disaster we may get from President Donald J. Trump.

A few weeks ago, we spent some time discussing the topics we won't see discussed on our "corporate liberal" channel. Last night, the two young women from Nigeria drove that sick story along:

WOODRUFF: Ya Kaka, how hard is it for you now, and what do you want to do now? What do you want to do in the future?

YA KAKA: My major problem is, when I go out in the streets of Maiduguri and I see some survivors that have not been able to access any form of help—they are out of school, they are living wretched—I don’t feel happy.

I pray that they also get the type of assistance I got, be in school, change their status, get good dresses, be accepted by the society and whenever they finish school.

I am hoping, in my own case, when I finish school, I will come back and assist other growing children from my community that have been neglected. I also want all others to get the same treatment.

WOODRUFF: Hauwa, what do you want Americans to know about the future possibilities for people like—for young women, for people like you and like Ya Kaka, and other children of Nigeria, who have had this terrible thing happen to them, and many of whom are still at risk?

What should Americans know? What do you want them to know about the future that you want?

HAUWA: I am pleading with the people of America and the government to please assist us.

There are thousands of other children that have no voice that are abducted in the forests. Nobody is talking of them.

Let the U.S. government put pressure where necessary. The government, and all the relevant agencies, should see that a lot of efforts will be put towards recovering these people. Put them in schools, so that they can save my generation.

That young woman can plead with us all she wants. Not unlike her deranged captors, we liberals were over on our cable channel getting our liberal rocks off.

We were busy listening to Clifford's lawyer. Last night, he had that exciting new photo of Clifford strapped in for her polygraph test! In 2011!

The bosses flashed the photograph early and often. It helped us stare at her parts.