Dead armadillo dumb!


A high lady fights her depression: We’ve been writing about the culture of dumb. And about the cult of dumb, the people who maintain the culture.

Lady Collins was officially “off” last week. This week, she’s back—and nothing has changed:
COLLINS (11/3/11): Day of the Armadillo

Important News You May Have Missed Dept.: While you and I have been spending the fall worrying about the secret talks of the Congressional super-committee or trying to determine whether it would be a fun idea to dress as Rick Santorum for Halloween, other even more fascinating news events have been occurring.

I am thinking in particular of a recent story out of Dallas: ''Man Allegedly Beat Woman With Frozen Armadillo.''

Here's a test. Would you rather hear some details about the Congressional super-committee or more about the armadillo? I thought so.
Every column, it’s the same hook: You and I find the news boring!

The culture of this cult is astounding. Equally astounding—the ability of the liberal world to cruise along without explicitly rejecting this culture. Essentially, Collins has lost her mind.

The liberal world doesn’t notice.

A bit later, Collins explains where she came by her latest distraction. In the process, she throws an adept under the bus and tells us which stories she loves:
COLLINS: I have been working on a project involving Texas, and my friends have been sending me lots of local headlines. (Thanks to Elizabeth Drew for the armadillo tip.) I also got an article titled ''Police: Angry Taco Bell Customer Fires at Officers,'' which contained the memorable exposition: ''Brian Tillerson, a manager at the Taco Bell/KFC restaurant, told The San Antonio Express-News that the man was angry the Beefy Crunch Burrito had gone from 99 cents to $1.49 each.''

These stories have something in common: They're conversation-starters without having any actual point.
Like so many depressed souls inside Versailles, Collins loves stories which lack any point. If an actual point appears, this lady can’t make herself focus.

The “project” to which she refers is a book. Depressed nobles always need a way to feel superior to the rabble. As these nobles drag us under the waves, pointless tales about Texans will do.


  1. That column... unbelievable! Or would be if it weren't so damn common.

    Thanks for the heads-up on the latest travesty coming from the former editor of editorial pages.

    I don't have the intestinal fortitude to read Collins' crap these days.

  2. Yes, and PLEASE NOTE that Elizabeth Drew is a pen pal.

  3. From Anna Politkovskaya: "Is journalism worth dying for?"

    “Koverny,” a Russian clown whose job in the olden days was to keep the audience laughing while the circus arena was changed between acts. If he failed to make them laugh, the ladies and gentlemen booed him and the management sacked him.

    Almost the entire present generation of Russian journalists, and those sections of the mass media which have survived to date, are clowns of this kind, a Big Top kovernys whose job is to keep the public entertained and, if they do have to write about anything serious, then merely to tell everyone how wonderful the Pyramid of Power is in all its manifestations.


    What happens to journalists who don’t want to perform in the Big Top? They become pariahs…

  4. "the man was angry the Beefy Crunch Burrito had gone from 99 cents to $1.49 each."

    There is a point to this story. People are being financially squeezed and are under so much stress that another small increase is the straw that breaks the camel's back. It is surprising there are not more stories like this, or maybe they just aren't being reported.

  5. Yes indeed, Anonymous. If Collins was interested in real journalism, she might have noticed that the burrito price rise was an example of the high inflation in food prices. Reuters noticed:

    More than a third of U.S. consumers expect rising food prices to cause them to cut back on holiday spending, a new survey showed on Tuesday....

    Manufacturers and producers have sharply raised food prices this year to cope with soaring costs for commodities ranging from soybeans and corn to peanuts.

    Note that food inflation hurts the poor more than the rich. Also, food inflation is an international problem. There was plenty of real stuff to write about, had Collins been a serious journalist.

  6. The swells who ride on the magic of privilege are immune to the cares of the stiffs , until they aren't .
    The recently common wave elections of course should be of no concern , because they are a hiccough signifying nothing . Yes , aside from an increasingly interesting pool of amusing stories to draw from , they provide no smoke , no screen , nothing to see here . What after all has changed , except the entire house three or four times since the Clinton Presidency ?
    Thank goodness for the light chatter , which keeps the irritating babble ones mind must sift through to a minimum .
    The new difficulties , rules , or prices I forget .
    Aristocrats weren't made to follow 'em , or pay .

  7. TheOnePercentFlyswatterNovember 4, 2011 at 12:18 PM

    DavidinCA... OK, so it's inflation now, is it? That cite of yours is an article about a survey of 1000 individuals and their expectations and forecasts of their own spending.

    That kind of survey has only a tenuous link with actual inflation.

    People also report that they think their own federal income tax rate was "probably increased" during some period, when the facts may be to the contrary -- People quite often expect or believe inflation is higher than it is, or discount periods of no inflation, substitution of goods, etc.

    People's expectation of inflation is always high -- So what? The rate in this survey has skyrocketed from two years ago at 31% up to 36% now!!! That's a whole lot of expecting, I suppose!

    But after giving us this pablum, Reuters feeds more from the mouth of "America's Research Group President Britt Beemer," "Now, consumers have grown so used to living within limited means that they already know how they plan to spend less."

    That there are too many people with limited means is no news flash. At minimum, we're all well acquainted with the fact that unemployment rates are very high right now.

    But whether that limited means is primarily due to actual inflation, job loss, or other circumstances isn't at all addressed by your link.

    But, so what?

    Addressing why people are experiencing "limited means" only matters if you actually care about the problem. If we don't actually care about that, we can waste our time on this nonsense.

    Note that spreading bull*** hurts the 99% more than the 1%. There was plenty of real stuff to talk about, but the 1% prefer to distract us.