THE CALIBER OF OUR OWN PROFESSORS: Like God, our liberal professors are dead!


Part 4—Enabling the press corps’ jewels:
In recent decades, with some exceptions, our own liberal professors have been almost wholly useless.

Inept and inane, but mainly just absent, they have enabled a deeply fatuous mainstream press corps.

No one stepped forward to challenge a raft of absurd budget claims which have driven the discourse. (“The Social Security trust fund is a pile of worthless IOUs!”)

No one stepped forward to challenge the claim that Candidate Gore was the world’s biggest liar. Like God, our liberal professors have pretty much seemed to be dead.

When God is dead and professors follow, we’re left with the inanities which come to us from the mainstream press. Let’s look at some recent examples.

The Post presents a real jewel: “These are my jewels,” Cornelia Scipionis Africana is famously said to have said. (Haec ornamenta sunt mea!)

The virtuous Roman matron was referring, of course, to her children. On February 23, the Washington Post’s Karen Tumulty—someone we like!—pounded out one of the press corps’ typical jewels.

Her piece ran more than 1700 words. This is what the headline said:

“Documents show the expensive tastes of Jeb Bush's low-key wife”

Gack! On and on the “news report” ran, detailing jewelry purchases by Columba Bush back in the 1990s. In 1999 or 2000, “she took out a loan to buy $42,311.70 worth of jewelry on a single day, according to records filed with the state of Florida by Mayors Jewelers,” Tumulty reported.

After that, this appeared:
TUMULTY (2/23/15): That purchase was part of a pattern by Columba Bush of borrowing to buy tens of thousands of dollars of jewelry at a time from the South Florida store over a 14-year period. Documentation available online, which does not include the details of two transactions made less than six weeks apart in 1995, shows that she spent a total of more than $90,000 at the store.

Jeb Bush's political team insisted that her tastes and shopping habits should not be an issue. "Mrs. Bush bought jewelry from time to time from Mayors Jewelers over the years. Though not required to be reported, these purchases in 2000 were included as accounts payable on Governor Bush's financial disclosure that year, and paid off the next," Bush spokeswoman Kristy Campbell said by e-mail.
The report ran 1724 words. A valiant attempt was made to pretend the report was relevant to the 2016 White House campaign.

(Silly Jeb Bush's political team! They insisted that her tastes and shopping habits shouldn't be an issue!)

This recent jewel followed the now-mandatory “news report” in which the Boston Globe’s Michael Kranish pretended to examine claims that Jeb Bush may have been a bully in high school.

To his credit, Bush doesn’t seem to have strapped his dog to the roof of his car at any point in his life. Though we feel sure the Globe is still looking.

Columba Bush bought too many jewels! We’re fairly sure that this pitiful nonsense came from the brain of Tumulty’s editor, not from Tumulty herself.

Still, the “press corps” has been displaying these jewels for decades now. Our liberal professors have been too grand to issue jeremiads against this brain-eating type of “journalism.”

Once again, Dowd smells the dress: Tumulty fingered Columba’s jewels in the Washington Post. Last Sunday, Maureen Dowd returned, as she always does, to a certain blue semen-stained dress.

We Irish! We just can’t seem to do it! We can’t get those presidential bodily fluids out of our nun-tortured heads!

Last week, an email flap blew up around Hillary Clinton. Needless to say, this reminded Dowd of ten blow jobs Bill Clinton received long ago.

She simply can’t stop sniffing that dress! Dowd’s column featured a doddering old portrait painter who really seems to think the world is all about him. In a world where God and our liberal professors are dead, this is what the inner mind of a Pulitzer Prize winner looks like:
DOWD (3/8/15): Somewhere in Smithsonian storage sits a portrait of Bill Clinton with two odd features: He is standing next to a shadow meant to conjure Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress, and he is not wearing his gold wedding ring.

As we have been reminded by a recent wild cascade of stories, everything about the Clintons is convoluted. Nothing is simple, even a celebratory portrait.

Nelson Shanks, picked by Clinton to do his portrait for the National Portrait Gallery, revealed to the Philadelphia Daily News that he had used a blue dress on a mannequin to evoke the shadow of the Lewinsky scandal in the portrait.

I called the 77-year-old artist to ask about his devilish punking.
Dowd’s career has been built around one premise—typing “Lewinsky” feels good.

Nelson Shanks (real name!) is pathetic—just completely sad. Dowd, of course, is many times worse. She devoted the first half of her Sunday column to that twenty-year-old blue dress.

The one with the semen stains on it!

Have you ever seen a liberal professor stoop to the task of denouncing Dowd’s assault on the mental life of the American people? When our own professors are missing and dead, observably crazy people like Dowd will stagger into the breach, fingering their own overused jewels as they type their brain-eating columns.

The latest mincing remarks of the high lady Collins: As usual, Gail Collins has nothing to say in her New York Times column.

Today, she’s saying it about the Clinton email flap. How hard does Collins work to keep herself safe with both 1) her liberal readers and 2) her inane journalistic guild?

Nobody plays it safe quite the way Lady Collins does! Ponder this one deathless quote from this morning’s piddle:

“Clinton is both the best and worst retail politician on the national stage.”

Collins referred to Romney’s dog in more than fifty columns. As a general matter, her liberal readers are unable to see that they’re getting played by this profoundly lazy, self-protecting person.

Since our own liberal professors are dead, no one is able to tell them.

In her column, Collins piddles around with the email flap. She repeats enough talking-points to keep herself safe with her colleagues, who are inventing this latest diversion.

How dumb is Collins willing to be? Peruse this pitiful logic:
COLLINS (3/12/15): Even Democrats who are comfortable with the lack of newness in the Clinton candidacy have been dismayed about the email matter. The way she handled her communications was the exact opposite of transparency in public service. Particularly the part where she let some unidentified lawyers decide which messages belonged to the government and which ones were private conversations that ought to be expunged from history.
Really? It was “the exact opposite of transparency” when Clinton and/or staff separated emails about the Sudan from emails about Chelsea’s wedding?

By now, a wide range of journalists have managed to note a blindingly obvious fact—an obvious fact Clinton stated. If Clinton had used two email accounts—one for business and one for private matters—then she would have been making this same separation in real time, the way everyone else in the whole freaking government does.

That’s the way the system works! Collins, maintaining faith with the guild, calls the task of making this separation “the exact opposite of” everything transparent and holy.

(Also, Butch Otter’s name is funny!)

Liberals and Democrats simply can't see the horrible Collins for what she is. When our own professors refuse to speak, we are left with these terrible people further destroying our brains.

Columba Bush bought too many jewels! Emails make Maureen Dowd think of dried fluid! Lady Collins minces and ducks, just as she always has done.

Tomorrow, we’ll look at these letters. Letters like those end up in the Times when our liberal professors, like The Seventh Seal's God, steadfastly refuse to appear.

This afternoon: Professors Yancy and Sheth hold court in a famous newspaper


  1. "Acknowledgement nine months ago would have keep that from happening." - gleeful white progressive seconds after watching two police officers shot in Ferguson

    1. Gleeful conservative not showing a bit of sympathy for the two wounded officers but instead using their shooting to make accusation while trolling.

    2. How would you characterize POTUS Obama not admiting that Officer Wilson shot Brown in self-defense as was proved by the DOJ investigation. Or that DOJ determined the "Hands up, don't shoot" was a hoax. Instead Obama told a town hall at Benedict College that "it was not unreasonable to determine that there was not sufficient evidence to charge Officer Wilson."

    3. Congratulations! Your callow retort qualifies you to be an Obama press secretary.

    4. I dunno - 1:53 PM makes sense to me.

    5. @ 6:39

      You should have stopped at "I dunno." You would only be presumed jejune instead of removing all doubt.

  2. Where is Hillary's SF-109 STATE-USIA Separation Form? Did she sign it?

    She did not hand over work related emails until nearly two years after stepping down in 2013.

    "State Department policy requiring all outgoing employees to turn over job-related materials before leaving. The policy required such employees to sign a "separation statement" declaring they had "surrendered to responsible officials all unclassified documents" related to official business during their employment."

    1. Where's the birth certificate?

    2. Didn't you know Hillary was born in the City of the Big Shoulders? That accounts for the pant suits.

    3. I am so glad Hillary has learned from the Republican playbook.

      Chapter 3: Lessons from Watergate

      Rule No. 1: Burn the tapes

      End Chapter

      She turned over all her official State Department emails already.

      The only ones you can't see are the personal emails where she was committing treason, plotting murders, or was engaged in official corruption. Those you can't see. You can't see them, you hear me!

    4. mm, I wasn't going to claim that Hillary is as bad as Nixon, but you did it. We conservatives appreciate your help.

    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    6. @mm

      Hillary was a staff attorney for the House Judiciary Committee during the Watergate investigation. She was fired from that job. Perhaps she learned too well how to obfuscate. At least Republicans told Nixon he had to resign back in 1974. What are the Dems telling Hillary? Depends on what newspaper you read.

    7. I demand to see all of Condi Rice's personal e-mails, too. Both as national security advisor and secretary of state. Who knows what evil she plotted off the government server and on her personal yahoo account. We must see every e-mail she wrote in those 8 years. And may be a couple of years before and after, just to be sure.

      In fact, if memory serves me, everyone in the Bush II Administration had a yahoo account. They were big on yahoos.

    8. DinC,

      That's probably one of the nicest things a republican ever said about HRC. And I mean that sincerely.

    9. @ 4:31

      Too bad Dr. Rice's State Department email address was used exclusively for official business,

      It is really simple. Hillary Dillary Document Dump just couldn't be expected to abide by the regulations in place.

      2009 National Archives and Records Administration (NARA) requirements – Section 1236.22

      "Agencies that allow employees to send and receive official electronic mail messages using a system not operated by the agency must ensure that Federal records sent or received on such systems are preserved in the appropriate agency recordkeeping system."

    10. L. Brent Bozell IIIMarch 12, 2015 at 6:28 PM

      Too bad the paid troll has so much time on hand to use exclusively to foul the combox.

      It's really simple. Paid ConTroll just gotta troll.

      2016 Republican platform plank - "Party before Country, money above all."

    11. 3:27 PM - your best comment all month!

    12. @ Bozell II

      DNC 2016 bumper sticker: "HRC- To Protect Her Server"

    13. We don't need Rice's emails.
      We saw her lie to the 911 Commission in real time.


    14. @Berto

      What "lies" were these exactly? Dr. Rice is a double minority. According to the liberal rubric, criticizing her can only be the work of a racist and sexist.

    15. So cicero has absolutely no understanding of "the liberal rubric"? Whocouldaknowd?

  3. I feel really bad for Jeb Bush and his wife.

    1. I feel bad for William Jefferson. He has to share his server with Hillary.