With Kevin Drum on deck: Early this morning, a cheer went up from the team of youthful analysts who had been assigned to read the Washington Post.
Ashley Parker had gotten it right! Our years of hard work had finally begun to pay off!
At that start of January, Parker moved from the New York Times over to the Post. She'd spent her whole career at the Times, starting as "research assistant to Maureen Dowd," whatever that could possibly have meant.
How bad have things been along the way? As recently as November 2011, Parker co-wrote a front-page profile for the Times—a front-page profile of Leon de Magistris, "Mitt Romney's longtime hair stylist!"
No, really! It appeared on page one of the Times!
We could have given up on Parker right then and there. But like Tom Brady in last night's game, we skillfully kept our eye on the prize, offering the types of helpful advice a kid like Parker should have gotten from the big major stars at the Times.
This very morning, our years of hard work paid off! At her new Washington home, Parker was reporting on the latest absurd development from Donald J. Trump's house of gongs. Mike Pence will probe those voting issues! Right at the start of Parker's report, the analysts found reason to cheer:
PARKER (2/6/17): Vice President Pence will lead a commission to investigate voter registration issues, President Trump said Sunday.Despite the great feeling it would have provided, Ashley Parker didn't say that Donald J. Trump had lied. As a good reporter should, she managed to restrict herself to the things she actually knows.
In an interview with Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly before Super Bowl LI, Trump—who shortly after taking office told congressional lawmakers that 3 to 5 million illegal votes had cost him the popular vote against Hillary Clinton—reiterated his concerns about voter irregularities, saying he planned to task his vice president with looking into concerns about voter registration.
“I’m going to set up a commission...headed by Vice President Mike Pence, and we’re going to look at it very, very carefully,” Trump said.
Despite no credible evidence that any massive voter fraud occurred during the 2016 presidential race, especially on the scale Trump suggested, the president has continued to push the theory, much to the chagrin of some of his aides and many congressional leaders.
There is "no credible evidence that any massive voter fraud occurred during the 2016 presidential race, especially on the scale Trump suggested," Parker successfully reported. A drumbeat of such disciplined work will soon overtake the gorilla dust churned by those who excite the base by pretending to divine the fact that some loathed figure has lied.
The analysts cheered the person they now call "the new Ashley Parker." Earlier, though, they'd been grinding their teeth over the newly puzzling figure they've long described as their "Uncle Drum."
In response to a highly controversial post, the analysts had been comparing their Uncle Drum to the haughty quarterback, Matt Ryan, who failed to show sufficient respect for the aforementioned Brady last night. We could of course see the analysts' point.
Showing Parker-like restraint, we refused to affirm their claims.
"At long last, your Uncle Drum has started talking about it," we said. Indeed, in the controversial post in question, Drum had come clean about what had become of the old Kevin Drum.
What have they done with the old Kevin Drum? The new Kevin Drum gave an explicit answer this weekend. We'd say that his explicit answer only tends to support our point about his recent unruly behavior.
The new Kevin Drum has arrived on the scene as many as twenty-fives years late. Tomorrow, we'll survey the transient damage, even as we praise the Drumcat's years of invaluable work.