"How to improve your outdoor space!"

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2019

No other newspaper like it:
Skillfully, we barked out this morning's orders to the eager young analysts.

"Bring us the dope on the Times' Ronda Kaysen," we skillfully, yet thoughtfully, said.

As it turns out, Kaysen is an award-winning journalist. We know that because she's willing to say so, at her own web site:
I am an award-winning freelance journalist and longtime contributor to the New York Times, where I write two regular columns. Right at Home takes readers along on my many misadventures in homeownership. Yes, figuring out how to install a home security system is confusing and no, I am not at all ashamed that I am addicted to open houses (I’m not the only one, either!)

[...]

I have won numerous awards,
including the 2018 President’s Award for the Best Freelance Collection from National Association of Real Estate Editors.

I got my start at The New York Observer, where I wrote about celebrities, books, wedding engagements and Manhattan neighborhoods...
We like to joke about the way our journalists use the award-winning term, "award-winning." That said, Kaysen's use of the term is perhaps a bit heavy-handed, even for scufflers like us.

At any rate, so what? We issued our orders today because of Kaysen's performance in the Times' daily "Here to Help" feature (print editions only). On this morning's page A3, it starts exactly like this:
Here to Help
HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR OUTDOOR SPACE

Your instinct might be to start with plants, but resist that urge. RONDA KAYSEN
Already, we were hooked! As we greedily perused the feature, we thought Kaysen's best work almost surely involved the enduring importance of shade:
Choose a shady spot for seating. “Shade is hugely important,” said Cara White, the founder of Elevations, an urban design studio in New York. “Where is your best opportunity to create shade?”

But if your only option is to have your seating area beneath the blazing sun, install a shade sail, a retractable awning or a large umbrella. Or, step it up and build a pergola, letting vines grow over it to create a natural canopy.
To her credit, Kaysen wasn't afraid to consult an expert on the question of whether shade is important when you're sitting outdoors. From there, Kaysen proceeded to earn her keep on her own:

Who else would think of erecting an awning, or perhaps even a large umbrella, to block the blazing sun? You simply can't gain insights like these in any other newspaper!

Increasingly, Future Anthropologists Huddled in Caves tell us that the Times' page A3 is the only newspaper page worth reading at this extremely late date.

"Mister Trump's War is drawing near," these disconsolate future scholars have glumly repeatedly told us. "On page A3, we see the remarkable folderol which will soon, at long last, bring the end times to pass."

Also on today's A3, we learned that this hard-hitting news report was "Monday's most read article." If you click, you'll see that it was the news report about Donald J. Trump getting booed at the baseball game.

Is there any way out of this hard-wired mess? Everything is possible, nine out of ten future logicians somewhat improbably claim!

20 comments:

  1. "Is there any way out of this hard-wired mess?"

    Sure there is, dear Bob. With a bit of luck, your liberal zombie cult will soon collapse and vanish from the pages of history. And we'll forget all this like a bad dream...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reality is hard to take, fantasies are more pleasant - partially explains situation with dems. But even if they 'vanish' - something else will replace it. And we will still be saddled with the Trump-zombie cult, unless they too somehow vanish.

      Delete
    2. Mao,
      Trump is a liar, a thief and a traitor.
      Get used to it.
      Despite your bullshit he will always be the worst president in US History.

      Lock him up! Lock him up!

      Suck harder. Scumbag.

      Delete
    3. hello everyone Have you heard of this man, a spell caster and a herbal doctor ? DR HARRY what a great man, black magic really work, well I know this man must be giving a great regards due to what he have done in my life,Am from UK, I travel to Texas  for business I have to spend 2 months over there during to the business I meet this girl what a petty girl well she draw my attentions I was interest on her I decide to speak to her, how I felt for her, and I was having it in mind that I should propose to her, I spend time with this girl, and will were in love very tight, and will had sex together, all I was thinking about is how to introduce her to my parent before I propose to her because I really love her when it was time for me to go back to my country, but due to business my time do not permit me I have to go back fast, but all was already done, and she were to come after 2 weeks  to visit me so that I can introduce her to my parent when I was back my doctor decide to do his duty work and test me and give me some treatment but he found out that I have HIV, it was so surprised to me that she have HIV and she refused to tell me about it, and she allow me to have sex with her without condom, but I feel like crying I decide to behave like a man, all I think about is I will not be about to have children anymore then due to that I was force to look for help, I believe there is no cure in HIV, but I decide to try magic if it can work for me. I search for magic power men then I found a man called DR.HARRY  how it cured HIV within 7 days spell, well I did not conclude immediately because of who I Am I thinks this can work and it cannot also work, I give a try this man go according to the post I see, and his spell work within 3 weeks  I was cured totally, with the little I have i have to send a car to this man because of his good work but only God can tell who this man his, let me stop from here because I know there are many people who need his help that is why I have to write about him, He can cure all kinds sickness or illness and cast any spell likePENIS ENLARGEMENT PREMATURE EJACULATION LOW SPERM COUNT ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION HIV/AIDS HERPES ALS CANCER DIABETES GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK SPELL MONEY SPELL LOTTERY SPELL BREAKING CURSE SPELL PROTECTION FROM WITCH CRAFT SPIRITUAL ATTACK SPELL WIN COURT CASE SPELL  etc email him drharrysolution@gmail.com   visit His website  https://drharryherbaltempl.wixsite.com/solutiontemple or call.....whatsapp +2349036417079

      Delete
    4. hello everyone here i am Michael Freckleton a medical doctor from France but currently in Miami  , i want to share a great testimony of how Dr HARRY  herbal mixture cream saves me from shame and disgrace, my penis size was a big problem to me as the size was really so embarrassing and discouraging, a 39 year old full grown man like me having 4 inches penis and to worsen it i don't last in sex i cant even last two minutes it was really a thing of shame my wife was really tired of me because my sex life was very poor , she never enjoyed sex, i was always thinking and searching for solutions everywhere until last two months when i saw a testimony of how Dr HARRY  herbal mixture cream have been helping people from the globe,i saw one MR PAUL KEWAH  testifying of how Dr HARRY helped him enlarge his penis size so i decided to give him a try ,i visited his website link  https://drharryherbaltempl.wixsite.com/solutiontemple    we talked and he gave me steps to follow which i did and to my greatest surprise in less than two weeks of taking the herbal mixture cream my penis grow to 8 inches i couldn't believe my eyes and as i speak now my penis is now 10.5 inches long and i was amazed when my wife said i satisfy her so well now all thanks to Dr HARRY  herbal mixture cream,i will forever be grateful To him i also learnt that Dr HARRY also have the herbal cure to problems like
      PENIS ENLARGEMENT
      ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
      DIABETES type 1 and type 2
      HERPES GENITAL WART
      LOW SPERM COUNT
      WEAK ERECTION
      BREAST ENLARGEMENT
      PROSTRATE CANCER
      HIV/AIDS
      SPELL OF ALL KINDS LIKE EX BACK,CANCEL DIVORCE,BREAK UP SPELL ,PREGNANCY SPELL,PROMOTION SPELL,JOB SPELL
      ALS
      HPV 123
      PILE
      ASTHMA
      HEART FAILURE
      PREMATURE EJACULATION
      HEPATITIS A,B,C AND MANY MORE
      so if you you are suffering from any of this problems please do not hesitate to contact him now email drharrysolution@gmail.com website  https://drharryherbaltempl.wixsite.com/solutiontemple    you can call him or Whatsapp Dr Harry via whatsapp +2349036417079 thanks    

      Delete
  2. I recommend the following for the type of story which will *not* “soon, at long last, bring the end times to pass.”:

    “Who is going to win the World Series?

    MONDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2019”

    http://dailyhowler.blogspot.com/2019/10/who-is-going-to-win-world-series.html

    Or you can check out the encyclopedia-sized sports sections in every newspaper in the country for equally important stuff.

    You see, sports is Important and Not At All Trivial.

    That popular story about Trump getting booed? IT HAPPENED AT THE WORLD SERIES.

    Guess Times readers were only supposed to care about the Important Matter of Who Will Win the World Series. Trump getting booed when he isn’t in his safe space? Trivial, liberals. Even if this reflects on Trump’s true popularity, and impacts his ability to start wars willy nilly, it’s just not IMPORTANT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As usual, someone like 3:23 misses the forest for the trees. Somerby was criticizing some iffy reporting. Have to admit, I didn’t review those reports, because I don’t give an iffy about baseball. Bob does. Hm. Well, it is his blog. I won’t hold it against him.

      This anon has apparently never noticed that Bob posts in two parts, most of the time: A main essay, then some “fluff.” Frankly, I grinned openly at the beginning of this post, and must admit some chuckles passed my teeth further on. As far as the main article, haven’t even got to it yet. Not sure I will. Gotta work overtime early tomorrow.

      Leroy

      Delete
  3. So the NYT has a lot of fluff. As far as I know, the still don't have horoscopes or comics. I would think TDH should get over it. It's only one part of the paper, and they are trying to sell papers, as others have observed. So what - just skip over it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I erect an awning every morning.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Today's Howler had me laughing out loud in public. Thank god for absurd newspaper articles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There was recently a Here To Help where the writer peddled a toothbrush by claiming to be too lazy to brush her teeth at night.

      Delete
  6. نوفر الدعم الذي تحتاجه لتأسيس أعمالك التجارية و منحك مجموعة من الخيارات التي تتيح لك
    حرية تحديد المسار الأمثل الذي يناسب مشروعك
    بدون رسوم مخفية
    شفافية كاملة مع عملائنا من البداية حتى تأسيس شركتك
    شروط إنشاء شركة في دبى
    خطوات تأسيس شركة في دبي للسعوديين
    أهم مناطق الاستثمار فى الامارات

    ReplyDelete
  7. JUST MADE IT
    Hello world, so I'm beyond grateful to Chief Dr. Ebore for helping me with a very powerful spell to get the lottery winning numbers. I won the lottery of 448.4 million US Dollars a week ago in a jackpot from 7 lottery play. The first thing I bought was a house with all the features I never dreamed I'd have. From there, I manifested my perfect dream car. I want to appreciate Dr. Ebore for his loyalty and magical works. It exists only in the right hands and with it everything is possible... He is also good in get your ex love back, healing, pregnancy, lottery winning and other spells etc. If you need any of this spell you can get in touch with him. Google mail:- EHITEMPLE@GMAIL.COM,
    WhatsApp number:- +1 (972) 383 9289 Love & Light!.

    ReplyDelete
  8. i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346










    i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

    ReplyDelete
  9. I want to share a testimony of how Dr.Osemuhau herbal mixture cream saves me from shame and disgrace, my penis was a big problem to me as the size was really so embarrassing,and i was also having weak erection problem. I can't make love to my wife and my penis was just too small a full grown man like me having 4 inches penis and to worsen it i don't last in sex i cant even last two minutes it was really a thing of shame to me. My wife was really tired of me because my sex life was very poor,she never enjoyed sex,i was always thinking and searching for solutions everywhere until when i saw a testimony of how Dr.Osemuhau herbal mixture cream have been helping people regarding their sex life, so i decided to give him a try and to my greatest surprise in less than one week of taking the herbs my penis grow to 8 inches i couldn't believe my eyes and as i speak now my penis is now 8 inches and i do not have week erection again. I can make love to my wife longer in bed. And my marriage is now stable,my wife now enjoy me very well in bed. can contact him drosemuhau@gmail.com {) or call or what-apps him through +2348168714427

    ReplyDelete
  10. hello everyone Have you heard of this man, a spell caster and a herbal doctor ? DR HARRY what a great man, black magic really work, well I know this man must be giving a great regards due to what he have done in my life,Am from UK, I travel to Texas  for business I have to spend 2 months over there during to the business I meet this girl what a petty girl well she draw my attentions I was interest on her I decide to speak to her, how I felt for her, and I was having it in mind that I should propose to her, I spend time with this girl, and will were in love very tight, and will had sex together, all I was thinking about is how to introduce her to my parent before I propose to her because I really love her when it was time for me to go back to my country, but due to business my time do not permit me I have to go back fast, but all was already done, and she were to come after 2 weeks  to visit me so that I can introduce her to my parent when I was back my doctor decide to do his duty work and test me and give me some treatment but he found out that I have HIV, it was so surprised to me that she have HIV and she refused to tell me about it, and she allow me to have sex with her without condom, but I feel like crying I decide to behave like a man, all I think about is I will not be about to have children anymore then due to that I was force to look for help, I believe there is no cure in HIV, but I decide to try magic if it can work for me. I search for magic power men then I found a man called DR.HARRY  how it cured HIV within 7 days spell, well I did not conclude immediately because of who I Am I thinks this can work and it cannot also work, I give a try this man go according to the post I see, and his spell work within 3 weeks  I was cured totally, with the little I have i have to send a car to this man because of his good work but only God can tell who this man his, let me stop from here because I know there are many people who need his help that is why I have to write about him, He can cure all kinds sickness or illness and cast any spell likePENIS ENLARGEMENT PREMATURE EJACULATION LOW SPERM COUNT ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION HIV/AIDS HERPES ALS CANCER DIABETES GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK SPELL MONEY SPELL LOTTERY SPELL BREAKING CURSE SPELL PROTECTION FROM WITCH CRAFT SPIRITUAL ATTACK SPELL WIN COURT CASE SPELL  etc email him drharrysolution@gmail.com   visit His website  https://drharryherbaltempl.wixsite.com/solutiontemple or call.....whatsapp +2349036417079

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hello viewers around the Globe, I was despondent because i had a very small penis, about 2.5 inches soft and 4 inches hard not nice enough to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist called Dr, OLHIA and i decided to contact him on his {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com} so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal pills for Penis Enlargement, Within 3 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, " and now it just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 9 inches longer, and i had to settle out with my Ex girlfriend Ella, i was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my sex and i have got a large penis. Am so happy, thanks to Dr OLIHA I also learn that Dr OLIHA also help with Breast Enlargement Hips and Bums Enlargement etc.. If you are in any situation with a little Penis, weak ejaculation, small breast_hips_bums do get to Dr OLIHA now for help on his email {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com} or whats app him number: +2349038382931

    ReplyDelete
  12. Good day everyone my name is Catherine I'm from Los Angeles. I'm here to tell you about how I lost my husband to a fellow woman after 5 years of marriage with 1 child. My husband left me for a reason I do not know, I worried and cried because I love him and I couldn't live without him,losing him troubled my mind so I told my dear friend Julia about my problem and she told of this man who helps people in a similar situation. I contacted with the man,after he did his job,I started to receive calls and texts from my husband telling me to forgive. Now I'm happy and fulfilled living with my husband and my child now got the opportunity to live with her father. So if are in a similar situation or facing marital difficulty, you can contact him via(dr.alusistanley@gmail.com). He will give you his WhatsApp number himself.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hello everyone. I was heartbroken because i had very small penis, not nice to satisfy a woman, i had so many relationship called off because of my situation, i have used so many product which i found online but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments about this specialist called Dr osemuhau and decided to email him on so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal pills for Penis t, Enlargement Within 1 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, " and now it just 2 weeks of using his products my penis is about 9 inches longer and am so happy..feel free to contact Dr osemuhau on(drosemuhau@gmail.com) him this number +2348168714427 or https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Osemuhau-Herbal-Medicine-111115653769173

    ReplyDelete

  14. Hello Am From The UK , I want to write a little testimony about the good work of doctor Oyagu who cured me from Hsv 1 and 2 for just 2 weeks with his herbal medicine, I never believe I can be normal again and have a good life like others I always regretted the day I got diagnose with the virus, I was lost of hope when my doctor told me there is no cure for it but I keep thinking and thinking about my future, if I can have kids of my own well I am so grateful for my helper who get me cured with his herbal medicine, I go online in search of anything that can help me because I can’t deal with it forever so I found this doc Oyagu email on a blog of someone who was cured by him I quickly contact him for help and explain all my pain to him, he told me not to worry about it there is cure for real, I never believe until he send me the herbal medicine when I order for it and I have it within 4 days that is how I took the medicine for 2 week and the following week I go for test just to confirm I was 100% cured from this sickness what a miracle in my life I am so happy right now, you can also get in contact with him if you have such sickness through email address oyaguherbalhome@gmail.com or text him on what's app, phone number +2348101755322 Dr Oyagu also has remedy to others disease like COLD SORES,HIV/AIDS,DIABETES.CANCER,HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND MANY MORE. I oblige everyone to contact this powerful herbalist Dr Oyagu and be free from suffering.

    ReplyDelete