Tinier snapshots of a culture!

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2019

Things that make readers go oooohh:
It isn't like Slate never posts any articles which are substantive. But every so often, we agree to let the analysts enjoy a brief laugh at a wave of submissions like this:
Do I Have to Tell My Lying Ex I Have an STD?
What about his girlfriend?
By RICH JUZWIAK
OCT 16, 2019 5:55 AM

My Thrill-Seeking Husband Is Terrorizing Our Sensitive Son With Roller Coasters
This usually ends in tears.
By JAMILAH LEMIEUX
OCT 16, 2019 5:59 AM

Help! My Girlfriend Wants Me to Keep a Violent Dog to Prove My Commitment.

By DANIEL MALLORY ORTBERG
OCT 16, 2019 6:00 AM

My Sister Gets Dramatic Every Time I Try to Buy Gifts for Her Kids
By JAMILAH LEMIEUX
OCT 16, 2019 6:01 AM

The 14 Holiday Toys to Buy Now Before They Sell Out, According to Trend Forecasters
Sparkly eggs, tiny collectible pets, and rainbow unicorn poop made of slime.
By STRATEGIST EDITORS
OCT 16, 2019 6:30 AM
People, we're just saying! We're sure there's value in these lifestyle-based eyeball-grabbers from Slate.

Meanwhile, consider the items the New York Times lists on today's page A3 as "six of the most read, shared and discussed posts from across [yesterday's] NYTimes.com."

In fairness, "Tuesday's most read article" involved John Bolton's statement comparing Rudy Giuliani to a hand grenade. That said, among the day's other most-discussed posts were these:
an article about the return of Fortnite, "featuring a new map with lots of goodies for gamers to explore;"

an article called "Five Reasons the Diet Soda Myth Won't Die;"

an article called "Fly Fishing Is the New Bird-Watching;"

and an article called "10 Tips About Leaving Tracks Around the Internet."
On the same page A3, today's "Here to Help" feature instructs readers in "How to make time for a hobby." In the article, hobby time expert Tara Parker-Pope lists three bullet points, including this irrefutable bit of advice:
"Schedule your free time (but don't over-schedule it)."
For the record, page A3 was "reimagined" maybe two years ago. According to legend, the Times adopted a revealing motto for the helpful new page:
You are the dumbest people on earth.
We at the Times want to serve you.
In our view, these are additional tiny snapshots of a fatuous, failing culture. Admittedly, your mileage may differ.

This also happened today: In a momentary state of confusion, we clicked on a Heather Schwedel post. This was the invitation which drew us in:
HEATHER SCHWEDEL / OCT. 16, 2019 / 4:25 pm
Ronan Farrow’s Deranged Impressions on the Catch and Kill Audiobook, Reviewed
This is where our error took us. In our experience, clicking on a Schwedel post is the Internet's greatest mistake.

In these parts, it's known as "getting Schwedeled." Your experience may differ from ours.

18 comments:

  1. I know it's not easy, but you need to learn to be entertained by all this postmodern shit, dear Bob.

    Alternatively, you could just stop reading zombie publications.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's hard not to be entertained by the left's stupidity and insanity. To the extent it's so extremely damaging to its victims, from puberty-blocked abused children to blacks murdered because cops stopped intervening, it's hard to be entertained.

      Delete
    2. "because cops stopped intervening"

      Holding the police accountable for shooting unarmed black men is a bridge too far for he Right.

      Can you remind us again, that the Left are the real racists? Thanks in advance.

      Delete
    3. "Unarmed" is only meaningful to a dumb person. The object is to prevent thugs from becoming armed with your weapon or some other, as Michael Brown attempted to do, or to stop them from ruining or taking the lives of other people. Fake news and Democrat lies got cops killed, cops avoided policing effectively, and thousands of blacks have been murdered as a result of Democrat hate.

      Delete
    4. "Fake news and Democrat lies got cops killed, cops avoided policing effectively, and thousands of blacks have been murdered as a result of Democrat hate.

      You have the Left confused with the Russian assets in the NRA, who say the 2nd Amendment gives the people the right to shoot the police (to fight the tyranny of the government).

      Other than, fine gibberish, comrade.

      Delete
  2. Congratulations Mr. Somerby,

    Your team of crack researchers have found that online sites are driven by clickbait.

    You may wish them to followup by investigating the following:

    Most "news" articles are about celebrities
    ....or outrage at celebrity tweets
    ....or outrage that celebrities have not tweeted
    ....or outrage that someone is or is not a celebrity
    The writing on most "journalism" sites is atrocious.
    Internet comments can be rude and testy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'll not be testy today. This speaks well to your critique.

    Map of the Internet

    Finding "Clickbait Cave" may be a challenge, but hell, if I can do it, anyone can. I tend to dwell in "Land of Little Leftist Mags", one from which I received this gem.

    Leroy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you notice that the places frequented by women are missing from the map?

      Delete
  4. Sparky Eggs- Check

    Rainbow poop made out of slime- Check

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sweeping treason against the United States of America under the rug, because it might reflect badly on Conservatives--Check.

      Delete
    2. Alexa, try to name all the Russian assets in the Trump Administration and Republican Senate, in less than 5 minutes.

      Delete
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