Like Jesus, anthropologists wept: Our handlers keep trying to steer us away from the daily features on the New York Times' hard-copy page A3.
Future Anthropologists Huddled in Caves keep taking a different approach. These despondent scholars keep insisting that page A3 is where the ultimate secret lurks.
Thus prompted, we went there again today. At the top of the page, we found this:
Of InterestNo distinct flavor of its own left behind! At any rate, those were the first two "noteworthy facts" included in today's Of Interest feature.
NOTEWORTHY FACTS FROM TODAY'S PAPER
The population of Guatemalan-Angelenos includes more than 250,000 people, the largest group outside of Guatemala.
Mayonnaise—a seasoned emulsion of oil in water—is mostly fat, making it a great delivery mechanism for the fat-soluble flavor compounds found in many aromatics, while leaving behind no distinct flavor of its own.
As printed, that first entry doesn't exactly parse. But it was the second "noteworthy fact" which had us shaking our heads.
Good lord, we thoughtfully said. The Times lists seven "noteworthy facts" from today's paper, and one of the seven entries involves the way mayonnaise works!
Already, we thought this morning's page A3 had made the anthropologists' point. But then we looked at the daily feature directly below the "noteworthy facts."
On this, the 30th day in October, that daily feature did look, in part, like this:
The ConversationGood lord! The article about mayonnaise was one of the day's "most read!" As it turned out, so was "this review of Peter Luger, the Brooklyn steakhouse."
FOUR OF THE MOST READ, SHARED AND DISCUSSED POSTS FROM ACROSS NYTIMES.COM
2. The Secret Ingredient That Improves Meat Every Time
A smear of mayonnaise before cooking makes beef, pork, chicken and fish better as if by magic, J. Kenji Lopez-Alt opined in this highly read article, one of two from the Food section to crack the top 5 most read articles on Tuesday.
The Luger review was listed as "most read and shared post" number 3. The fourth "most read and shared" entry went exactly like this:
4. Early to Bed, Early to Rise Makes Me Exhausted, Depressed and SickJust for the record, the circadian rhythm complainer piece was appearing on the "most read/most shared" list for the second straight day. Yesterday, the Times reported that the piece "was popular with readers on Monday."
This Op-Ed article by Vanessa Barbara about living with a chronic circadian rhythm problem was one of Tuesday's most emailed articles.
A smear of mayonnaise before cooking makes beef, pork, chicken and fish better! In other news today, the Times published a lengthy report beneath these hard-copy headlines:
Erased by Rising Seas by 2050In our Washington Edition, that report appeared on page A6. It didn't make the "noteworthy facts" or the "most read and shared" lists.
Research Paper Says 150 Million Are Living on Land that Will Be Inundated by Midcentury
Those anthropologists have a strong point. Like Jesus, these top experts wept!