Beyond the valley of the mutual loathing: Last Tuesday night, Marco Rubio stopped to take a swig of water.
By Friday night, the general inanity which ensued had given issue to this:
MATTHEWS (2/15/13): Water-hyphen-gate! Marco Rubio’s water bottle moment may be the image that haunts him for a long time. Tonight, a look back at some of the other moments that fairly or not have come to define some politicians forever.That brief statement was a tease. Later, we got another:
“Up next: Marco Rubio’s big gulp might become the moment that defines the guy. Coming up, another iconic moment and groups of them, by the way, that have crippled reputations of politicians in the past. It’s all in The Sideshow. It’s going to be fun!”
Just so long as it’s in The Sideshow—and just so long as it’s fun! Here’s what happened when Matthews took us down memory lane, looking at moments which have crippled reputations of major politicians, “fairly or not:”
MATTHEWS: This is going to be fun. Back to Hardball, and now to The Sideshow.Below, you see the names. In each case, Matthews played tape of the iconic moment which might not have been fair:
When Marco Rubio made that awkward grab for his water bottle during the State of the Union response on Tuesday, I immediately thought, “OK, he’s now going to forever be known as the thirsty one.”
Well, it’s too early to know if the episode really will stick with him years from now down the line, but it wouldn’t be the first time. For example, plenty of other politicians became that guy after incidents that might be called insignificant.
You will know what I’m talking about as soon as you hear these names.
Politicians whose reputations have been crippled by iconic moments, fairly or not:Matthews closed with Sarah Palin. Note the way he explained it:
Michael Dukakis: “Chances are you’re thinking of a photo-op that tanked. Literally.”
Dan Quayle: “You might think of a classroom full of kids and a spelling test.”
Howard Dean: “It’s not fair, not at all. But that [scream] became the moment in Howard Dean’s 2004 presidential run.”
George W. Bush: He said the FEMA director was “doing a heck of a job.”
Rick Perry: He forgot something, then said oops.
MATTHEWS: Well, let’s not forget the classic Sarah Palin quote either. "You can actually see Russia from land here, here in Alaska." Well, that soon became, "I can see Russia from my house," thanks to Tina Fey.Matthews knows that Palin's “classic quote” is a quote she never said! As he noted, some of these iconic moments may not be totally fair!
Anyway, the list goes on. One moment and you become that guy or gal for the long haul. Rubio’s water break is now very much in the race.
In this segment, Matthews ran through a bunch of the stupid shit his guild has shoveled over the years. He omitted the deeply significant hatchet jobs in which he himself played the leading role—the endless invention of bogus claims about Candidate Gore, the two years worth of bogus claims which sent George Bush to the White House.
People are dead all over the world because Matthews spent two years doing that. But so what? Last night, he teased The Channel's hour-long special about Iraq and pretended he actually cared.
Because Matthews has now been repurposed, he pretended to be upset about the unfairness to Howard Dean. We haven’t had the heart to go back and see what he said and did in real time.
The low-brow clowning by these millionaire apes has changed the course of world history. But you virtually never see major liberals complain about this fact. That’s why we very much liked this Kevin Drum post, in which Drum speaks rather frankly about the dumbness of the press corps.
To us, that post really stands out. It’s stunning to think that this could be so, but there you go. There it is.
By now, you’d think that every sentient being on earth could agree on two basic points:
(1) The apes routinely peddle dumb shit, some of which they have made up.
(2) When the apes try to discuss real topics, they routinely do so quite dumbly.
We’d all be in a different world if major writers acknowledged these facts as a matter of course—if they routinely complained about these facts. We liked that post by Drum today because that’s where that post was headed.
Treat yourself to some fun in The Sideshow: To watch a millionaire ape peddle pure stupid shit, go ahead—just click this.
People are dead all over the world because of this ape's past conduct, unless you hear Joan tell it.