Helpful ways to say goodbye to 140 friends: We've been spending a few hours each afternoon watching the Ken Burns film about a certain well-known war—a war from the 1960s and 1970s.
This morning, finally, at long last, it seems the war has come home! We refer to the struggles being waged by the harried corporate board inside Twitter headquarters.
The thought-provoking platform for blurbs has floated a radical notion. Instead of letting users type 140 characters, the company might allow some lucky duckies to use 280 characters. According to the board, that's exactly twice as many!
Mike Isaac handled the report in the New York Times. We offer a handful of excerpts:
ISAAC (9/27/17): It is a significant moment for the 11-year-old Twitter, which has been trying to figure out how to change the social media service without alienating the people who have embraced its short format.It's history's oldest tale. After cheating on 140 characters, the corporate board "fell in love" with its double-the-pleasure, double-the-fun proposal for 280.
Twitter is now preparing for a backlash from those who might take issue with a 280-character tweet.
''We understand since many of you have been tweeting for years, there may be an emotional attachment to 140 characters,'' the company said. ''But we tried this, saw the power of what it will do, and fell in love with this new, still brief, constraint.''
Understandably, though, the company is prepping for a "backlash" from users who have an "emotional attachment" to the smaller number. The board doesn't want to "alienate" these people.
We offer the following question:
How post-human must a life form be to serve on the board at Twitter? We also note the following offering from page A3 of today's New York Times:
Here to HelpThat's right! In this morning's "Here to Help" feature, New York Times experts help us know how to stay mindful when saying good-bye "to someone you care about."
HOW TO BE MINDFUL WHILE SAYING GOOD-BYE
We don't want to give the whole thing away, but the helpful advice starts like this:
As you prepare to say goodbye to someone you care about, breathe in and be aware of your body and your emotions. Notice if there is any tightness in your chest, or if you are already thinking about missing the person.The helpful advice proceeds from there. The feature appears beneath the famous motto for the "reimagined" page A3:
Take a deep breath and instead, just try to be in the present moment with the person you are saying goodbye to. Look the person in the eye and listen to the sound of his or her voice. As you say goodbye, really listen to what the other person says.
You are the dumbest people on earth.We have our own private thought, each day, when we read the reimagined A3. We state our thought in the form of a motto:
We at the Times want to serve you.
A readership which tolerates this will end up electing a Trump.