What would you call the online Post?

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2022

It no longer seems like a newspaper: At one time, it was our practice—we'd start the day with a trip to two (2) different daily newspapers.

We still start at the New York Times. Then, we go to the online Washington Post—and we're no longer sure where we are. Consider what happened this very morning, at 8 A.M. pretty much sharp.

We journeyed to the online Post a bit after 8 A.M. When we arrived at the puzzling site, these were the headlines on the six (6) bannered news reports which appeared at the top of its endless front page:

As fatal police shootings increase, more go unreported
Flawed FBI data has left thousands of deaths uncounted and complicates efforts to hold troubled police departments accountable.

Trump’s political action committee paying for lawyers of key Mar-a-Lago witnesses

When my father died, I discovered the unmentionable stage of mourning: Relief
I was troubled by this feeling. But it’s more common than you think.

Ancient human relative used fire, surprising discoveries suggest
Charcoal and burned bones offer intriguing—if controversial—clues that the species Homo naledi made hearths to light its way and cook in dark caves.

You’re not going to stop shopping for new clothes. Here’s what to do instead.
For an Earth-friendly closet, how you shop—finding ways to reduce unnecessary purchases of new items, thinking about how you might wear what you buy and looking for clothes that will last—matters.

With another Brazil win, another chance to witness gasping World Cup beauty
Five-time champion Brazil overwhelmed South Korea 4-1 and will face Croatia on Friday.

Those were the six bannered news reports at the top of the Post's front page. 

The first two reports seemed to concern actual hard-news topics. That said, a quick review of the report on police shooting deaths seemed to suggest that it was built around a bit of a statistical okey-doke. 

Meanwhile, after those first two (2) reports, here's what the Post was offering:

A memoir-style piece about handling grief. A report about the way an ancient prehuman species managed to keep itself warm.

A report about the way you can assemble an "Earth-friendly" wardrobe for your closet. Also, a report about Brazil's most recent World Cup match.

What would you think if you saw those six reports on the front page of the print edition of a traditional major newspaper? 

We'd think that something was rather strange. Also, though, the online Post was offering this when we went there:

Right below those six bannered news reports, we encountered the Post's list of its MOST READ articles. As of 8 A.M., these were the top three

MOST READ articles, 8 A.M.
1) When My Father Died, I Discovered the Unmentionable Stage of Mourning: Relief
2) Kirstie Alley, Emmy-winning ‘Cheers’ actress, dies at 71
3) Advice / Carolyn Hax: Is mom’s help with the kids worth her commentary?

Just below that as we scrolled, we came to the DON'T MISS section. These were the first two reports we were told not to miss:

Brendan Fraser’s comeback says less about him than it says about us 

Holiday movies have gone LGBTQ. The results aren’t always good

Just for the record, that report about Fraser has been promoted at the online Post since it first appeared on December 1. As of today, that made it five days old, but it was still a DON'T MISS.

Now for a confession. In all honesty, we weren't entirely sure who Brendan Fraser is. To our embarrassment, the five-day-old DON'T MISS report was able to tell us this:

BURR (12/1/22): Fraser was everywhere in the 1990s and early 2000s: a sweetly handsome, blue-eyed lummox whose starring roles established him as a perpetual naif. In “Encino Man” (1992), he played a thawed-out California cave-dude; “George of the Jungle” (1997) and “Dudley Do-Right” (1999) cast him as the live-action version of classic Saturday morning cartoon characters. There were dramatic performances, too, and fine ones—“School Ties” (1992), the revelatory “Gods and Monsters” (1998)—and three big action hits in “The Mummy” (1999) and its two sequels, but the Fraser persona seemed set in stone. He was a capable but slightly dazed nice guy, your older brother’s best friend and your little sister’s secret crush. Not so much a movie star but one of your own crew who had somehow managed to scramble up onto the screen.

You can imagine how stupid we felt—almost like a bit of a lummox ourselves! We hadn't seen Encino Man, and we hadn't seen George of the Jungle either!

At 8 A.M., the online Post was selling this array of dreck before it offered its actual hard news sections. As of now, at 12:30 P.M., the online Post's selection of topics may be even dumber. 

Believe it or not, the third bannered "news report" the Post is offering at this time is this evergreen thumb-sucker from the EATING LAB department of its WELL + BEING section:

That 8-glasses-of-water-a-day thing? It’s from the ’40s and not accurate.
The well-known advice is outdated, and recent research has shown that many factors influence how much water we need.

The Post had thawed out that dated thumb-sucker. It's a bit like Encino Man!

The print edition of the Post continues to be a standard traditional newspaper. What beast is crawling forth from this entity's online realm?

As we've mentioned in the past, we don't quite know what to call it! Apparently, though, a major American one-time newspaper increases its income this way.