HELLO STRANGER: Women don't know how to drive, he said!

SATURDAY, AUGUST 2, 2025

Manifest nutcase speaks: By now, the reigning "King of 7 P.M." couldn't seem to hold it in for even a minute longer.

On Friday, July 18, Director Gabbard had accused Barack Obama of engaging in "a treasonous conspiracy" at the end of his second term in the White House.

That evening, Gabbard survived a tough grilling by Sean Hannity as she advanced her claim on his Fox News Channel program. The next day, she survived a gauntlet established by three inquisitors on that day's Fox & Friends Weekend broadcast.

On Sunday, July 20, she took her claims to the Fox Business show, Sunday Morning Futures, where Maria Bartiromo rolled over and died in support of her accusations. And then, on Wednesday, July 23, the Director hit the big time:

Gabbard appeared on the main stage right there at the White House! During that day's White House press briefing, Karoline Leavitt stepped aside and introduced her to the crowd. 

As we noted in Monday's report, the Director then performed a thirty-minute briefing in which she continued to advance her claims—the accusations she quickly described as "stunning revelations." 

Finally! Finally, the conduct by the traitor Obama had been laid out for all to see! And yet, "the left" kept insisting that the Director's presentations didn't quite seem to make sense. 

For the king of 7 p.m., the frustration had apparently reached the point where he could no longer hold it in. As his program started on Thursday, July 24, he proceeded in the normal way—but it was clear that normal procedures, on this one day, just wouldn't be nearly enough.

He started with his normal array of strange, astoundingly dated jokes in which he denigrated a wide array of women, including women in general. In his very first joke, he compared the women of The View to a collection of cows.

(The View is going on summer hiatus, he said. During that time, "the cast will sun themselves in a field while slowly digesting an entire goat," after which "they'll be rounded up by border collies and outfitted with new cowbells.")

As you can see by clicking here, that's what the little guy said! And yet, something seemed to be wrong this night, and the studio audience seemed to have noticed.

That joke was much clumsier, and much more attenuated, than the normal fare in which he compares the women of The View to horses, cows, pigs and dogs, cattle and "livestock" and whales. 

The audience laughed a bit tentatively at this clumsy first joke. They didn't cheer the fellow's insult nearly as much as usual.

For the record, the finer people of Blue America—Brooks and Kristof and Maddow and O'Donnell, but also Hayes and Wallace and Ruhle and even Anderson Cooper—have all agreed that we Blues must let such nightly behavior proceed without a word of reporting or comment. To appearances, nobody wants to tussle with Fox, and certainly not with the "fun, smart comedy" produced by one of its strangest "cable news" stars.

The little guy had started the program like that, but something didn't seem to be right. To his credit, he tried to continue his kampf. 

Soon, he was telling a wonderful joke about Hillary Clinton—actually, about "women" in general. That pitiful bit of old world throwback went exactly like this:

GUTFELD (7/24/25): Tulsi Gabbard released info that suggests Russia had dirt on Hillary, claiming that she "suffered from fits of anger, aggression, and cheerfulness."

So basically, she's a woman.

AUDIENCE: [Groaning]

Fo the record, the "info" in question seems to have been a bit of Russkie dis-information. However you choose to score that particular point, the premise of the fellow's joke was so old world than even the people in his studio audience didn't quite seem to be buying. 

Quickly, though still in throwback mode, he decided to go with this:

GUTFELD: Today is Amelia Earhart Day, commemorating the life of the woman who vanished while trying to fly around the world. 

She was last seen in New Guinea trying to parallel park.

STOOGE TO HIS LEFT: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Women don't know how to parallel park! That's how far back in the annals of old world sexual politics this strange man was willing to go.

(A few weeks back, he even offered a joke based on the premise that Asian Americans are terrible drivers! We recall being amazed to see that premise floating around when we spent a few weeks in San Francisco comedy circles—in the summer of 1985.)

There's really nowhere this fellow won't go as he pursues his strange desire to denigrate women—most often, in his desire to denigrate the amazingly fat, unattractive women who don't agree with his own infallible pseudo-political views. 

These inane acts of denigration take place every night, night after night, as his studio audiences cheer and applaud—and as the tribunes of Blue America cower and hide, in fear.

For a year or two, not long ago, we Blues pretended to have a sexual politics, though it was rather plain that we actually didn't (and don't). After a year or so, we Blues gave up that particular ghost:

The Fox News star with the endless collection of grievance parades in these ways every night. As you can see here, his next joke on that unsettled evening was directed at Ellen DeGeneres—more specifically, at the idea that she has unusually oversized ears. 

Finally—dare we say mercifully?—he ended his handful of opening jokes with this attempt at a nonpartisan crowd-pleaser:

GUTFELD: Finally, the man who wrote "YMCA" claims the songs is not a gay anthem, as so many people believe.

Right! And "Stairway to Heaven" isn't about anal!

AUDIENCE: [Unsettled murmurs]

GUTFELD: Whatever.

To enjoy that performance, just click here. It was still just 10:02 p.m. Eastern (7:02 on the coast). Mercifully, his "fun, smart" collection of opening jokes had finally come to an end! 

For the record, what you've just seen is pretty much all this strange person actually has. That said, something wasn't quite right this evening, and the studio audience seemed to be able to sense it.

Something seemed to be "off" this night.  Meanwhile, this was the quartet of stooges who had been hired to support everything Greg Gutfeld would say and do in the course of this midsummer evening:

Gutfeld!: Thursday, July 24, 2025
Joe Germanotta: owner, Joanne's Trattoria
Kennedy: former VJ
Guy Benson: Fox News contributor
Michael Loftus: comedian

Those were the savants the channel had assembled for the apparent purpose of discussing the day's most important news topics.

The women of The View are cows. Also, women in general can't parallel park, and women in general are hopelessly emotional.

It was only 10:02 p.m., but the "cable news" titan had already established those essential points. Now it was time for his monologue—the monologue he delivers each night on one of the day's key issues.

It was Thursday evening, July 24, and on this particular evening, he could no longer hold it in. It was time to speak in support of Director Gabbard. The (60-year-old!) cable star started off like this:

GUTFELD (continuing directly): So once again, the media pretends that their corrupt, shameful behavior never happened. Which means it's time for:

ANNOUNCER: Yiiiikes! Well, nothing to see here!

GUTFELD: They did it with the Covid lab leak, the "fine people" hoax, the Haitian whipping hoax, and of course Joe Biden's brain, where they claimed it was fine when it was missing more screws than a Mexican roller coaster.

Now it's the Russian collusion hoax. 

He was tackling the claim of "Russian collusion"—a topic which doesn't seem to be implicated by the claims Gabbard had made.

A screen behind his blared these words:

RUSSIAN COLLUSION HOAX

As the screen announced his topic, the fellow continued as shown:

GUTFELD: So as we unravel the scheme to derail a Trump presidency, the media now wants all of us to move on after gaslighting us like Jerry Nadler with a Bic lighter near his butt hole.

And so, like the dead bird on Maxine Waters' head, we're supposed to ignore it! Right, Jeff?

There followed a very brief bit of tape of CNN's Jeff Zeleny as he started to fact-check Gabbard's press event.

In fairness, we should have warned you! The childish personal insults routinely continue even as the Fox News analytical giant delivers his major daily assessment. So it was as he launched his attempt to review what Director Gabbard had been saying about President Obama's treason.

What followed was one of the dumbest performance ever staged on an American news broadcast. That said, the studio audience cheered along, pleased by his performance at last.

We're going to leave it here for today. We'll continue our act of transcription on Monday.

We didn't want to move ahead and simply ignore those monstrously stupid throwback jokes about half the world's population. For today, we'll simply ask you to ask yourself this:

Women don't know how to drive! Also, women are hopelessly emotional! 

The women who appear on The View should be rounded up by border collies and equipped with cowbells! Last night, we were even back to this old favorite:

Something seems to be wrong with Nancy Pelosi's face!

This goes on, night after night and year after year, on one of the most heavily watched TV shows in the American "cable news" firmament. As for the Blue American tribunes you've been told that you can trust, you've never seen even one of those people so much as mention this very strange cable star's name.

Hello stranger, the old song said. By norms which largely survived until the Trump era, most sensible people might have said the same thing when confronted with conduct like this.

For today, we're asking you to ask yourself why the people you've been told you can trust have been willing, year after year, to look away from this aggressive assault on the possibility of maintaining something resembling an American nation. Furious strangers keep coming over the walls, and our Blue stars keep looking away.

Hello stranger, the slightly mysterious old song said. Mysteriously, it soon added this:

You are a stranger, and you're a pal of mine.

Monday: What this manifest nutcase said on the evening in question