SATURDAY, MARCH 28, 2026
We have a question for you: You'll have to forgive us for our minor activity today.
We're looking ahead, starting Monday, to (as Lincoln had it) "a task greater than that which rested upon Washington." Also, how can a person hope to keep pace with the moral and intellectual squalor which now stirs the drink of this failing nation's imitation of a public discourse?
We speak as someone who watched the angry, fantastically bungled first segment of last night's Gutfeld! show. But also, as someone who watched the children pretend to question President Trump on Thursday's edition of The Five, in an imitation of an interview which lasted 46 minutes.
As we noted yesterday morning, the children's attention spans were notably short that day. As we noted, it fell to Jesse Watters to ask the session's fourth question.
By now, attention spans were almost spent. This was the best he could do:
WATTERS (3/26/26): But let me ask you about Iran. You've kind of suggested that we'd knocked out Ayatollah Junior. Have we—and did the CIA tell you that Ayatollah Junior is gay?
Is "Ayatollah Junior" gay? It seemed to be the only question the famous fellow could conjure.
Question 6 came from Greg Gutfeld. Inevitably, it concerned himself:
GUTFELD: Mr. President, let's shift onto some other topics. I'm debating whether to be serious or not serious.
I'm gonna be not serious!
[...]
You know, you're doing the White House Correspondents Dinner for the first time, and you're gonna get a 10. Why wasn't I asked to do the roast?
It was the best he could manage. (We think we've correctly transcribed the part about the president getting a 10.)
(We've edited out an interruption, in which the president asked if "Sleepy Joe" could have handled an interview session like this one. The children chuckled and agreed that he never could have done it!)
Lincoln headed off from Springfield, hoping to save the nation. As in The Sixth Sense, so too today:
Has the death of the nation already occurred, but we just don't know it yet?
Special bonus question: Question 9 came from Dana Perino. By now, the charade was splayed out for all to see. This is what she asked:
PERINO: Hi, it's Dana again, and I have a kind of pop culture question for you.
So I'm new to New York, relatively speaking—so, fifteen years—and there's all these young people across America are watching Love Story, which is the story of JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette. And I'm curious:
Did you know JFK Jr.? And do you have any nostalgia for the 90s?
Other questions were even more pointless. Are these the death throes we've chosen?
Stop the presses!
ReplyDeleteA TDH exclusive!
Fox News serves as an entertainment channel for Republicans looking to get emotional comfort!!!
Who knew?
Trump, in public remarks: “I hang out with losers because it makes be feel better. I hate guys that are very, very successful and you have to listen to their success stories. I like people that like to listen to my success.”
ReplyDeleteTrump hangs out with losers because we all like to gravitate to folks on the same level as we are.
DeleteI'm no negotiating expert, haven't even skimmed The Art of the Deal, so maybe someone out there can explain why it's a good idea, in the middle of a vital negotiation, to publicly describe your opposite side as "desperate" and "begging" for a deal?
ReplyDeleteI know this must be helpful, in some way, I'm just drawing a blank as to how.
That’s just Trump playing M-Theory chess in eleven dimensions.
DeleteActor Richard Gere on Trump : “We have a president who’s not only crazy, he’s a dark presence. And it’s happened so quickly. Six months, he’s almost destroyed our country.”
ReplyDeleteYep. And the Republican Party is letting him do it
Is our country really destroyed? Here's what destruction looks like
Delete-- Being overrun with illegal immigrants
-- Being hit with an Iranian nuclear weapon
-- In a depression
-- Inflation back up to a Biden-like 9%
-- Crime exploding
-- Riots in our cities
Go take a flying fuck, dickface.
DeleteNone of the above is remotely true.
Delete-We need immigrants to grow the economy and pay your SS and Medicare benefits.
-Iran's nuclear weapons were "obliterated" by Hicseth nine months back
-After the shock of COVID subsided Biden handed off inflation under control, tens of millions of jobs gained, and unemployment steady at 4% target for years; and what "The Economist" called the world's strongest economy.
-Crime was totally under control after COVID jump
-What riots? Name one jagoff
Also too, Biden didn't start WWIII.
DeleteIt’s alright, David gets a little bitchy when people speak the truth about his orange Jesus
DeleteWhat really bothers me is the utter unreality of comments like "Trump almost destroyed our country” or "Iran is winning the war." No reasonable analysis could reach these conclusions. The level of dumbness caused by TDS frightens me. The scary part is that these statements are repeated so often that many people believe them.
DeleteI would compare the irrational hatred and disdain for Trump with a bigot's irrational hatred and disdain for some ethnic group. In other words, I am subject to antisemitism and TDS. Both affect me similarly.