Starting tomorrow, "Desegregate" the elite! Why does (the state of) New York have so many "segregated schools?"
In what sense can the state be said to be running such schools at all?
Everybody knows the answers, but nobody wants to state them! According to leading anthropologists, our tribe's devotion to Liberal Scold Culture—an impulse for which these experts say our floundering species is "hard-wired"—keeps us enacting our famous "performative virtue" regarding such highly fraught questions.
How much merit might these future theories contain? We can't necessarily tell you that, but our reports last week went exactly like this:
"Segregation" and scold:Starting tomorrow, we examine the New York Times' lonely, performative fight to "integrate" New York City's schools.
Tuesday, June 11: The "segregated schools" of New York (State)! Empire (State) of the scolds!
Wednesday, June 12: What makes New York (State) the worst of all? Thanks to lazy scholarship, we can't exactly say!
Thursday, June 13: There's no way to "integrate" New York's schools—State and City both!
Friday, June 14: Stupid old Biden opposed it back then. No one supports it today!
As leading anthropologists tell us, no one have ever loved the elite quite the way the elite do. The Times keeps demanding "Desegregation now!"—but just for the top one percent!
Free the Gotham One Percent! Our reports begin tomorrow; there may be some mild disarray.