Parker and Barbaro clean up Sununu!

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 29, 2012

Who raised these horrible children: By now, we thought the children had done it all.

Today, the children get worse. Right in the hard-copy New York Times, Parker and Barbaro kiss major ass, cleaning up John Sununu.

It’s hard to believe that even this pair could get as awful as this:

PAKER/BARABARO (8/29/12): “Where’d Sununu go?” asked Ryan Williams, a hint of anxiety creeping into his voice as he searched for the man he had been tasked with keeping in line for the past year. “Where’d he go? I lost him.”

Mr. Sununu, the self-described “crazy uncle of the campaign,” is notorious for going off script, and Mr. Williams, a dark-humored Romney aide ironically nicknamed “Sunshine,” is one of the few people who can corral him.

Finally, he spotted Mr. Sununu across the way. “Oh, there he is,” Mr. Williams said. “He’s talking to Jon Voight.”

Controlling Mr. Sununu, the short, cackling id of the Romney campaign, is no easy task, especially this week, when he is being mobbed, movie-star-style, by high-fiving delegates and distant Romney relatives who want to pose for pictures with him.

The children were helping the Romney campaign pimp a ridiculous line.

Within the Romney campaign, Sununu has been the hardest, ugliest player in the effort to slime Obama. This morning, the children are helping the Romney campaign pretend that Sununu’s repeated remarks have all occurred when this crazy uncle, with his cackling id, suddenly went “off script.”

The children are helping the campaign pretend that they’re trying to “control” Sununu. The children are happy to help them pretend that this is “no easy task.”

Ryan Williams is one of the few who can "corral" crazy Sununu! These horribple children typed it up, pretending they know this is true.

Even for broken-souled children like these, this morning’s piece is remarkable. But these horrible children know how good climber kids should behave.

As they close, they continue to serve. They type a bit of silly business designed to soften their subject:

PAKER/BARABARO: He spent most of the last two decades largely out of sight, but the ascension of Mr. Romney, his New Hampshire neighbor, has made him matter once again. On Tuesday, he soaked up attention in the convention hall.

“My man!” said Senator Orrin G. Hatch of Utah. “I just love you. Every time I see you on TV, I say, ‘There’s my guy!’ ”

Mr. Williams, meanwhile, trailing behind him on radio row, had more practical worries. “Governor, Governor,” he called, as Mr. Sununu wrapped his arms around two young women, who had giddily requested a photo. “Fix your hair!”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! “Governor! Fix your hair!”

That's what "Sunshine" said!

Last night, Ann Romney was trying to make Mitt Romney likable. This morning, the children provide the same service to Sununu. It’s hard to avoid the obvious question:

What kind of parents could have raised such horrible children?

For the record, your liberal heroes will tolerate this; not a word will be spoken. You see, they want to get jobs at the New York Times too.

As liberals, we’ll just sit there and take it. Our lizard brain says our liberal heroes are quite plainly On Our Side.

Visit our incomparable archives: On Saturday, Alexandra Petri provided this same service to Mitt Romney himself. Somehow, she knew that his recent remark about his birth certificate had been unplanned—“off the cuff.”

These children know how good children should act. See THE DAILY HOWLER, 8/27/12.