THURSDAY, MARCH 21, 2019
Natural numbers gone wild: In response to this morning's report, comedian [NAME WITHHELD] has emailed us with an anecdotal further report.
"I'd not sure if 3 lives next to 4," he admits, but he's "heard that 7 ate 9."
We've received partial confirmation of this unusual breaking report. According to Future Anthropologists Huddled in Caves, it happened one block over, not too far from the gated community where the trapezoids live.