Germs may be lurking in your spice drawer!

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 18, 2023

Or within your "national discourse:" Admittedly, this topic can seem to get old. 

That said, we were struck again today when we traveled to the remarkable web site of the (online) Washington Post.

It was 10:45 a.m. The first three reports on the (online) paper's front page could be reached by clicking on these headlines:

Election conspiracies behind plot to shoot at Democrats’ homes in N.M., police say

Six Ukrainian officials killed in helicopter crash near Kyiv
Minister Denis Monastyrsky and other top officials were on a helicopter that fell near a kindergarten, killing at least 17 people, including four children

Single-use coffee pods are often better for the environment than regular filters. Yes, it’s true.
A new study of coffee consumption found that using pods can be less wasteful than brewing traditional filter coffee.

The first two reports involved traditional news topics. After that, we were directed to the debate about single-use coffee pods versus the regular filters.

Three more reports were receiving banner treatment at that point in time. The headlines looked like this:

As meetings grow wild, officials try to tame public comment
Across a polarized nation, governing bodies are changing—and sometimes even halting—public comment amid an unprecedented level of invective, misinformation and disorder from citizens.

Cultural limitations have always galvanized Madonna. But this time it’s different.
Madonna pushes against old assumptions about gender and age at a time when the public dialogue can be mean and unforgiving on those very subjects.

The germiest spot in your kitchen? A new study found surprising results.
Bacteria could be lurking in an unexpected spot: your spice drawer.

Disruptions at public meetings might qualify as traditional news. After that, the online Post was peddling germs in your spice drawer, and it was selling Madonna.

This is now standard fare at the online Washington Post. By the way, what sorts of reports are readers of the online Post actually choosing to read?

Right below those six bannered reports, the paper was offering its MOST READ section. At that time, these were three of the five most-read items in the whole of the Washington Post:

MOST READ reports, online Post, 10:45 a.m.:

1) Single-use coffee pods have surprising environmental benefits over other brewing methods

[...]

4) Carolyn Hax: Mom friend can’t resist their daughters’ teen dramas

5) Parents across the country share their skepticism over sleepovers

We can't quite parse that Hax headline either. We almost decided to click to Hax just to see what the headline meant.

After that, the Post was offering its DON'T MISS section. As is often the case, the four reports we were told not to miss read a bit like an Onion parody. These were the DON'T MISS headlines: 

Is it better to book direct or use an online travel agency?

What the Jan. 6 probe found out about social media, but didn’t report

These common recipe instructions make food safety experts cringe

Ask a Doctor: Are my bowel movements normal?

One of those reports seems to involve traditional news. Meanwhile, the online Post just can't seem to quit that evergreen report about your bowel movements.

It seemed to us that the online Post was even more dumbnified than usual at that time this morning. Before we reached the online WORLD news section, we had to scroll our way through these proffered distractions:

Five reports in the online SPORTS section. Six more reports in online ADVICE. 

Five reports in the online LIFESTYLE section. All those very soft reports, followed by four reports in the online FOOD section!

The online reader had to scroll past all those distractions before he hit the online paper's WORLD section. Finally, the reader was allowed to consider the Post's idea of world news.

As this dumbnification proceeds, we remain amazed by a pair of facts:

We're amazed by the simple fact that this profit-seeking dumbnification is actually taking place. Also, we're amazed by the fact that this dumbnification project has gone completely unnoticed and unmentioned.

Germs may be lurking in your spice drawer! Also, a cancer may be growing on your "national discourse" at the (online) Post.

25 comments:

  1. "The first two reports involved traditional news topics. After that, we were directed to the debate about single-use coffee pods versus the regular filters."

    Apparently Somerby doesn't consider environmental issues to be a traditional news topic. A story like this isn't about the coffee, it is about the planet.

    This suggests to me that Somerby doesn't give a thought to what he puts in his trash, doesn't compost, doesn't separate the recyclables into a separate bin, doesn't choose products at the market with any concern about packaging, doesn't use up and wear out what he buys. That makes him less than a solid citizen of Earth, in my opinion, but dismissing the importance of news that helps conservation efforts is a particularly ignorant reaction to his morning web browsing.

    ReplyDelete

  2. But surely Mr Bezos knows better how to run his reputable publication, dear Bob.

    ...otherwise it would be you, not him, with a $10 billion Pentagon contract...

    ReplyDelete
  3. "We can't quite parse that Hax headline either. We almost decided to click to Hax just to see what the headline meant."

    Women have no trouble parsing it. Should all the news be aimed at men in Somerby's world? If I don't understand a headline, I do follow through and click to find out about it. It is telling that Somerby does not. It confirms my belief that he is an incurious person (like Trump, G.W. Bush, Reagan and many other deliberately undereducated, deeply stupid people who have been elected to office).

    But by all means, let's mock the Washington Post because it publishes stories people who are not Somerby might like to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would parse if it were “Mom’s” instead of “Mom”.

      Delete
  4. "The online reader had to scroll past all those distractions before he hit the online paper's WORLD section. "

    When you visit the paper, up at the very top of the screen it says "Politics" on the left and on the right it says "World". These links take you directly to exactly the stories Somerby most wants to read, with no annoying scrolling and no exposure to anything that interests other people.

    Somerby has surely been around this planet long enough to know how links work. That means that this daily complaint is manufactured outrage designed to make the Post appear under-nourished, news-wise. Or it gives Somerby a chance to complain because others who are not him enjoy things he doesn't care about. Or they worry about things that don't concern Somerby, such as constipation or the health of the environment.

    This is not a devious plot to make Somerby scroll. It is a business that provides information to people with a wide variety of interests, organized to give access to everyone who might wnat to read it. Nothing is disappeared or hidden. Somerby just needs to read the words in front of him to find what he prefers. And no, our country is not in decline because someone cares about Madonna.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Google irony. You’ll find this passage.

    “That means that this daily complaint is manufactured outrage designed to make the Post appear under-nourished, news-wise. Or it gives Somerby a chance to complain because others who are not him enjoy things he doesn't care about. Or they worry about things that don't concern Somerby, such as constipation or the health of the environment.”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your fake irony is the same as Somerby’s fake humor.

      Delete
  6. Here's One....."Aging blogger now phones it in; could he
    have ever given a damn in the first place?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s your daily chance to complain because others who are not you enjoy things that you don’t care about. Or they worry about things that don’t concern you.

      Sound familiar?

      Delete
    2. If you still enjoy the pitiful sham this blog has become Cecelia, that’s nice. But you shouldn’t lash out at others.

      Delete
    3. I too like to repeatedly visit and comment on blogs that are a pitiful sham. Moth to a flame I guess! Plus I feel right at home because I am also a pitiful sham. I wouldn't want to overly tax myself.

      Delete
  7. I don’t much enjoy Cecelia’s company, so I’ll come back tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The only people here who actually discuss Somerby’s posts are the critics. None of the Somerby fans ever initiate a comment thread. Why would they? What would their response be except “Bob is right and anyone who disagrees is a psycho troll”, or “good one, Bob”, or “glad you brought this up so I don’t have to think about it”, or “you’re right, Bob, the liberals suck” or “your false statements and misrepresentations are ok because you’re targeting libs and journalists. Thumbs up.”

    In other words, to the Somerby fan club, his posts should generate zero discussion and 100% hero worship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On the contrary, mh, what gives you and yours away as being a coordinated operation is your relentless negativity.

      A casual critic would occasionally comment that Bob had gotten something right, That he had expressed something well and had been on target.

      That never happens. .

      On the contrary, your coven immediately goes to work distorting the things that Bob says with which you would naturally be in agreement.

      Along with that are posts after multi-paragraphed specious posts denouncing Bob for things such as not caring about climate change because he wryly bemoans stories about recycling cardboard toilet paper rolls, next to a report about a bombing in the Ukraine.

      The endless maligning, fatuousness, and malevolence steers all responses here. That is by design. You and the anonymices should give yourself all the credit. You’ve made this your life’s work.

      Delete
    2. "A casual critic would occasionally comment that Bob had gotten something right,..."

      I see you're still going with the "Bob isn't a Right-winger" defense.

      Delete
    3. A very casual critic. Bob’s once worthwhile mission, to zero in on group think and half truths aimed at Target audiences is all but forgotten. He scolds the left with bile and cheap, off the shelf arguments ( they make a lot of money! as if the hapless gasbags of Fox worked on spec) and half truths ( it’s all about Trump and putting him in jail!)
      As to the right he rarely notices them
      but his defense of Trump is baby talk
      and really does suggest he found a reactionary sugar daddy to pay his rent.,

      Delete
    4. Gotta say mh is extra funny today.

      "None of the Somerby fans ever initiate a comment thread."

      Demonstrably false, even in the last couple days, let alone for all time. What a stinker of a statement.

      "Why would they? What would their response be..."

      I can't imagine. Oh I know! We could look at them and just find out.

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. Only the true messiah would deny their divinity! Now just substitute robotic troll and hmmm... trollishness?

      Delete
  10. I agree with Bob that the coffee pods story shouldn't be on the front page of one of our nation's premiere newspapers.

    signed,
    not mh

    ReplyDelete