THURSDAY: We're enormously sorry we brought it up!

THURSDAY, JUNE 11, 2026

Our failed state and its douchebags: Yesterday afternoon, on The Five, it was Joe and Mika who were denounced as "douchebags."

"I never want to hear another moral lecture from those douchebags at Morning Joe," an angry fellow defiantly said. 

Five hours later, on Gutfeld!,  it was Rep. Jerry Nadler and the Southern Poverty Law Center's Bryan Fair who were denounced in that same colorful way. 

"What the hell are these douchebags talking about?" the angry youngster asked.  

On Tuesday evening, the same fellow had opened the Gutfeld! show with a joke calling Hillary Clinton a "bitch," instantly followed by a joke comparing Joy Behar to a cow. This is the braindead squalor our astonishing nation has chosen   

Back to yesterday's edition of The Five, our most-watched "cable news" show:

We're sorry we said, in this morning's report, that we would discuss yesterday's use of that angry fellow's new favorite word. If you try to discuss this gong-show too often, it's your brain cells, and no one else's, which quickly start to die.

In yesterday's opening segment, the rude, inane overtalking of Tarlov came on thick and fast. It may be time for Tarlov to go—to abandon this squalid imitation of life, this burlesque of human behavior, though she'd have to abandon her pay.

In this report, Mediaite captures one amusing part of yesterday's opening segment. Much, much more remains to be said about that segment, but we can't do it today. 

Behar is 83. The termagant likes to call her a cow.

Suzanne Scott pays him to do it. What ever happened to Suzanne Sctt to leave her behaving this way?

Watters describes the world of The Five: During that opening segment, Jesse Watters said that he would go after Candidate Platner mainly through policy issues.

"We do a cable show, so we like to sensationalize it," the most-watched person in cable news said. "It's fun to talk about nipples and Nazis and his sex tape, but that's not going to do it."  

One of the other youngsters chuckled. According to the world's top experts, this is the downfall we've chosen.