SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2026
The Five pretend to speak: Pumpkin-fueled squirrels were stuffing their faces in these environs this morning.
You can't exactly blame the squirrels. On the other hand, this:
As we noted at the start of the week, Shane Gillis said there wasn't another way he could say it! In his monologue for Saturday Night Live, the hilarity had proceeded as shown:
Saturday Night Live: October 10, 2026
“I haven’t been to the gym in so long, I didn’t know women just dress like whores now. Look, I’m sorry, there’s no other way to describe— Have you seen it? I’ve seen it. The shorts? Have you seen the shorts? Those neon—they're like artificial bait-colored, and the wrinkles go around the cheeks and all combine at the butthole.
“And don’t look! You’re not allowed to look...”
The whores are now displaying their buttholes and cheeks! To watch the entire monologue, you can just click this.
Concerning Gillis' use of that word, was there no other way to describe it? In fact, there are a million other ways to describe it, assuming it even exists. But possibly without quite thinking about it, some of These Hard-Charging Bros Today may be inclined to prefer to take the misogynist insult route.
We'll also note that the conceptual range among these gents may not be especially vast. Consider:
In the course of less than seven minutes, Gillis discussed the "two big fat bitch sisters" with whom he'd grown up. (There was no other way to say it.) One of them, displaying "her trucker forearms," used to accuse him of "masturbating in the shower" but also of having "bitch hips."
Don't miss the slightly discomfiting story Gillis told about what went through his mind when, perhaps inevitably, he ran into "a beautiful woman, walking towards me, also by herself," when he went out to enjoy a hike in the woods. Also, time was devoted to name-dropping a pair of friends, Joe Rogan and Theo Von.
He was concerned that his excessive weight made him "look like a lesbian." Also, a guy is "either gay or Hitler," given These Haircuts Today.
What a pile of crap! And as we noted on Monday, a dispute broke out after Gillis' appearance on SNL. The question was this:
Should he have said that These Women Today are just dressing like whores?
To us, the answer is fairly obvious. But then, we never would have approved a morally vacuous set like that for inclusion on a major American TV show. We'd more likely tell the performer to come back when he had something of value to offer.
(Also, when he had something which wouldn't force us to expend a whole month's worth of laugh track.)
We feel sure that Brother Gillis is a perfectly good, decent person. But he did decide to go with the W-bomb, and several people out in the world said that he shouldn't have done that.
On October 14, five Fox employees pretended to discuss what had happened. On this particular afternoon, it was the standard four reliables, plus the punching bag:
The Five: Wednesday, October 14, 2026
Emily Compagno: regular panelist
Jessica Tarlov: liberal punching bag
Jesse Watters: regular panelist
Dana Perino: regular panelist
Greg Gutfeld: regular panelist
To watch the pseudo-discussion, click here. The flimflam went like this:
For the MAGA stalwarts, the segment took a typical turn. Instead of evaluating Gillis' use of that word—the word was BLEEPed by Fox producers when tape of his performance was shown—the reliables spent their time critiquing what they described as over-reactions by a handful of lefty lunatics.
Eventually, it fell to Tarlov to state her view. Correctly or otherwise, we find it hard to believe that she said what she actually thinks.
In our view, it's time for Tarlov to leave this show. If we want our flailing nation to survive, it's also time for this braindead imitation of life to be yanked from the air.
There are certain sports in which women have a natural advantage. There should be separate competitions for men, with women carefully excluded. Men who win these competitions should receive gold medals and be accepted as champions.
ReplyDeleteThat is already happening.
DeleteThat is good.
DeleteIt isn't women who want separate competitions. My daughter tried to organize a co-ed water polo team in high school but the school administration wouldn't allow it. Girls were already practicing with the boys team and not getting hurt or having any problems. This isn't the "highest level" of competition but most sports is a matter of the participants enjoying themselves, not anyone setting records or winning trophies. Men and women played mixed doubles in country clubs all over the nation. This is a stupid non-argument.
DeleteThere should be no separate competitions. Only mixed competitions.
DeleteNot mixed competitions. Mixed sports. Everyone can play. Everyone wins.
DeleteWhen a girl wins a ribbon in a separate competition, she is being told that she was the best among her competitors but can never be the best overall, because she wasn't permitted to compete with all competitors. It is a formalized way of telling girls that however good they get, they can never be the best, because that spot is reserved for men. We don't need that "protection."
DeleteIf some people want to compete in separate events, fine, but there should also be open events where anyone can compete regardless of sex or gender.
In many sports, competitors get better as a result of playing against better opponents. Women don't have that opportunity when their field is limited. In some high schools and situations, girls are allowed to practice with and against boys who are better than they are, and they benefit. I suppose that the limits on boys and men's sports and the creation of separate events is because men are protective of the egos of boys who might be defeated by skilled girls. No one cares about the girls' egos because girls are supposed to lose. Girls are given that message early in life. Rigging games so that boys do not have to face girls in their sport gives boys the idea that girls cannot do well too, which is why the right is so busily trying to "protect" girls from being beaten by transwomen, as if girls cannot handle defeat by a better competitor. I find myself wondering if it is the boys who cannot accept the truth about their own skills.
And sports tends to be a metaphor for all areas of competition in life. Girls aren't supposed to compete in the workplace and they definitely aren't supposed to win.
DeleteOpen events in all sports. Yes!
DeleteAnd life!
DeleteIt could be that there would be no separate men's and women's sports - just like there are no separate men's and women's students in a coed classroom. But if for women to compete with men in sports like hockey, basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, track and field, boxing, etc they'd never make the team. Or very few. The best men at almost any physical sport are better than the best women. I rooted for Billie Jean King to beat Bobby Riggs, and was glad she won - but Riggs was not a top male tennis pro.
DeleteIt started hailing so we ran into the stadium to practice soccer inside. Five women walk up and want to play basketball. I said you want me and the big guy with three of you, and have three guys and two girls on the other? Nope, us five girls against you five, including the 6'5" dude. We were getting clobbered like 13-3 when one of our guys calls time. He says it's the University Women's team and we need to start hitting back. Didn't help much. But we woulda whipped them in soccer! (Maybe.)
DeleteCaitlin Clark would dominate the NBA.
DeleteSchools should have three teams for each sport: male, female, mixed. Athletes could try out for the mixed team or for whichever single-sex team wants them.
DeleteWomen would excel in mixed boxing.
DeleteIt’s wrong to use “whore” as an insult. Sex workers provide a valuable service. They deserve our respect.
ReplyDeleteThe word whore is used ironically by younger women. If used seriously, it is part of slut-shaming, a derogatory word used to shame women who are "sex positive" and open about their sexuality, instead of pretending they are demure virgins (as men would prefer them to be). Women have the right to control their own bodies and have sex lives without men dictating how that should occur.
DeleteMy body, my choice also refers to such things as getting tattoos, deciding what weight to be, coloring and cutting one's hair, amount of hair to allow on one's body, what clothes to wear and how many clothes to own, and all other aspects of appearance and health, as a matter of personal choice and control. A woman should not have to ask her husband or boyfriend before getting a haircut. Wearing makeup or blue hair or no makeup doesn't make someone a lesbian or a whore or anything else men choose to call women, in retaliation for exercising free will over their own bodies. This is where Gillis goes wrong. He has no right to any say in whether women exercise and what they wear while doing it, much less calling names that imply sexual promiscuity.
I wish Somerby were more explicit than simply to say everyone knows what the response to Gillis should be. Why can't Somerby say it himself?
Misogynist jerks get away with saying hateful things because OTHER MEN let them do it, laughing at non-jokes that are actually hate speech. Somerby refuses to be clear about his own reaction while blaming Tarlov for being unable to stand up to Gutfeld (outnumbered 4 to 1) and claiming SNL should have censored their guest host's routine ahead of time. (Do they do that?) Why should any other man do what Somerby demands when Somerby himself won't clearly state that women have the right to wear what they want at the gym, just as men do.
This is why Somerby is an asshole.
As long as Tarlov stays on that show, she helps the enemy.
DeleteAdding another conservative in her place wouldn't help the enemy? I think the show itself helps the enemy, which is its purpose.
DeleteIf Tarlov wants to earn money appearing and trying to balance the extreme right wing positions on Gutfeld's show, how is that any different than the liberals who appear on Bill Maher's show or Joe Rogan? The expectation that any conservative will ever change their mind about anything because some random liberal makes a good point, is extremely naive. It is unfair for Somerby to impose that on Tarlov.
What person in their right mind, in any job they want to hold onto, would tell their boss their true opinions on any subject? Tarlov is performing a role, as she is hired to do. Does Somerby have the right to tell her she shouldn't earn a living, as men do all the time?
Somerby claims to have great admiration for Bill Maher. Maher has gone whole hog for Trump, saying nice things about him after his second dinner at Mar a Lago, along with Kid Rock. If Maher were telling the truth he would mention the health concerns he no doubt witnessed first hand. Instead, Maher is busily fluffing Trump in despicable ways. But Tarlov is Somerby's target? That is sexism in action -- a different standard for Tarlov than for Maher who couldn't have sold out more completely than he obviously has this past week. Crickets from Somerby about that. Maher is his idol, because look what a big famous guy he is, at the expense of his integrity!
Anon 12:44, you calling TDH an "a**hole" because wasn't explicit enough for you in his (rather harsh) criticism of Gillis is as offensive (and brainless) as anything that Gillis said.
DeleteThe reason Somerby is an asshole is he keeps bringing up a gross comic who was on SNL (a show now watched by only a few Seniors) only days before we learn if we have a chance of pushing back against this God awful fascist movement. It should be all blue hands on deck, and vote today you assholes that haven't. Seriously, make sure your registered and vote. And if at all possible, don't vote by mail. (If Republican stay home to protest Trump proclaiming he is the true Assman.) Sometimes I think maybe 'ol Bob ain't too blue.
DeleteI don’t speak for other men, but I do not like demure virgins.
DeleteDonated today to Sherrod Brown and Amy Acton and Mary Peltola, and then I went to vote to push back on the fascist regime
DeleteYou are an excellent person 3:03, now get all your friends and family to do the same.
Delete
ReplyDelete"But then, we never would have approved a morally vacuous set like that for inclusion on a major American TV show."
Ha-ha. Thanks for laughs, the Church Lady.
SNL is a minor show.
Delete
ReplyDeleteYou know, Bob, we'll soon have the tenth anniversary of the first Dumbocrat mass head-explosion, in November 2016.
10 years, Bob. 10 years, since you and your comrades turned, literally overnight, into retarded Dumbocrats. Can you imagine?
Maybe you weren't here but Somerby helped elect Trump.
DeleteRepublican heads all exploded on May 17, 1954, for some reason the corporate-owned media won't cop to.
DeleteAnd they only keep fucking everything up worse and worse every single fucking time. Just a pack of drooling idjits. Please make it stop.
DeleteSomerby didn't help Trump get elected. That's a weird theory held by weird thinkers.
DeleteIn 2016, if you didn't vote for Hillary, you helped elect Trump. Somerby spent a lot of time dissing Hillary and no time pointing out the farce over her emails and Benghazi, no complaints about Comey's letter about Abedin's husband's laptop. Somerby defended Trump over the pussy tape and the other reports of sexual assault (lots of women came forward).
DeleteSomerby's abrupt right turn was so noticeable that other bloggers were discussing it, not just commenters here.
Maybe Somerby became one of those Elephant Graveyard New Guys, with a dark hole filled by Trump's cult (because his father died when he was 8 yo and he hated his mom), or maybe he got paid by Russia like other standups, or maybe he is just a stupid, empty guy. Who knows? But it is clear he helped Trump and hindered Hillary (which is the same as helping Trump).
Watch the Elephant Graveyard videos. Gillis is not a comedian and is not funny. He is part of a fake, manufactured online pseudo-reality where he is represented as a comedian and funny to participants of the manufactured pseudo reality bubble. When he steps outside of this invented pseudo reality and has to go on live television, the manufactured reality is exposed and falls apart.
ReplyDeleteJust like many of us here exist in in a manufactured online pseudo-reality where Trump raping children and Putin being on the verge of attempting to conquer Western Europe is represented as truth. Online, interacting with our other buddies in the manufactured online pseudo-reality bubble, it's all "true" and we pretend like it's all true. It's a fun game. It's a virtual reality game.
And sadly, a lot of us here will never leave that manufactured online pseudo reality. Maybe at Thanksgiving dinner but that's about it. It's too fun to stay in the alternative reality online bubble. So that's what we do all day long everyday. Like children playing with blocks, we play with manufactured reality there. It's much more fun.
Gillis just shows what happens when one is forced outside of these new manufactured online realities where truth becomes anything you want it to be.
Watch the Elephant Graveyard videos.
Thank you for this.
DeleteOn the other hand, there's no Republican voter who isn't a bigot in the real world.
Delete12:45,
DeletePro tip: Accusing Trump of raping children is the best way to keep him from suing you.
There is an entire pseudo-reality on the internet, where the Republican Party isn't running an international pedophile ring.
DeleteThey say it replaced the one where gun owners were going to use their 2nd Amendment rights to fight government tyranny, instead of selling their guns to criminals on the black market.
"Eventually, it fell to Tarlov to state her view. Correctly or otherwise, we find it hard to believe that she said what she actually thinks.
ReplyDeleteIn our view, it's time for Tarlov to leave this show."
How on earth would Somerby know what Tarlov really thinks?
If Gutfeld is not saying what he really thinks, is it time for him to leave the show too?
But the main problem with this remark by Somerby is that he never quotes what Tarlov actually said! How are we, his readers, to judge for ourselves whether she said something likely to be what she thinks, or not? We don't know what she said at all. Nice of Somerby to protect us from the burden of deciding for ourselves. Somerby gets to malign Tarlov without accountability for his accuracy at mindreading her. Does Somerby imagine that all women think alike or that all liberals hold the same opinions?
This is why Somerby is an asshole. The one woman who reacted to Gillis on Gutfeld's show, from a supposedly liberal viewpoint, is censored by Somerby. Does Somerby think she should have represented the "lefty lunatic" position or does he think she was too much of a "lefty lunatic" for his taste. We cannot know unless we go watch the Fox segments outselves. I refuse to do that. But perhaps that is what Somerby wants -- to increase Fox viewing among any liberals still reading his blog. A sane discussion of someone's statements on a given show would include quoting what they actually said. Tarlov doesn't get that courtesy, Somerby just gongs her off the show because of his own dislike of her. Since he would have done that to Maddow too, and she is plenty lefty, we have no way of knowing what bugs Somerby about Tarlov.
Most likely, Tarlov resembles Somerby's mother.
DeleteBy appearing on that show Tarlov is aiding the enemy.
DeleteSomerby is aiding the enemy more than Tarlov.
DeleteTDH fails to consider the last line of gillis's anecdote - "And don't look, you're not supposed to look." The point is that woman go to the gym, baring almost all, and men are chastised for looking at them. Ignoring the last line of the anecdote is faulty on TDH's part. I wasn't aware of other parts of his monologue. It's seems it was tasteless and vulgar, in large measure. I watch some of the comedy specials on Netflix/Amazon - not many are that funny, and a lot of them are graphic, in bad taste to some. It's not all Henny Youngman and Bob Hope. Even then though, a lot of jokes were at the expense of women, e.g., mother-in-law jokes, women are bad drivers etc.
ReplyDeleteTake my Republican voter who isn't a bigot, if you can find one.
DeleteNo one cares what guys at the gym look at. You do know the difference between looking and ogling, right? Guys at the gym bother women by telling them their form is wrong, just to speak to them. That kind of thing is majorly annoying. That happens to me when I am gambling at a casino, and the guys don't know what they are talking about, and it doesn't depend on how I am dressed. Guys know how to behave and it is on them when they don't show courtesy to women in public places. And no, their looks are not an excuse. That's the equivalent of "she was asking for it."
DeleteAC/MA, watch those recommended Elephant Graveyard videos. A lot of people agree with you about the state of current comedy. But pls don't confuse comedy acts with real life.
AC/MA It's OK to call 'em whores as long as you don't look. Whatever dude.
DeleteThere are no thought police. Look at them and call them whores in your mind. If you call them whores out loud, you are a sexist asshole.
DeleteIs Melania a whore? She posed naked in photos before she met Trump and switched to a different line of work. There are clearly men who think all women are whores, no matter who they are or what they do, or how they dress. Join them, if you feel inclined, but you are still a sexist asshole for thinking that. It isn't a crime unless you act on those thoughts. Leave the women at the gym alone.