THURSDAY, MARCH 20, 2025
Adventures in sewage flow: The day's good news seems to run like this:
Knock on wood, it looks like the Internat Archive may be up and running again.
We refer to the invaluable (but generally unused) service which lets an analyst see videotape of every word that's ever spoken on this flailing nation's various "cable news" programs.
In recent weeks, the service seemed to have lost its juice. Attempts to play its videotape from "cable news" program resulted in endless buffering.
It seemed to us that the invaluable service was flat on its back. As of yesterday, the service seems to have sprung back to life.
Go figure!
The corresponding bad news, needless to say, concerns what can routinely be seen on "cable news" programs. Most strikingly, the ugly fatuity on the Fox News Channel continues to constitute a cynical assault on the rapidly fading national interest.
We'll offer a few quick examples:
Tim Walz recently appeared as the third guest on Gavin Newsom's new podcast. Inevitably, this produced an array of references to "Tampon Tim," or merely to "Tampon," on an assortment of Fox News Channel programs last night.
Inevitably, this largely involved the studied inanity of Jesse Watters, on his own program at 8 p.m. but also on The Five.
Watters served as moderator of the first segment on The Five. After one minute of praise for Elon Musk's service to the nation, he transitioned to his second topic.
It was now 5:01. The silliest 47-year-old boy in the history of American news was now saying this:
WATTERS (3/19/25): Meanwhile, Tampon Tim is now getting a kick out of the Tesla stock going down, and Crybaby Kimmel is giving a wink-wink to the vandalism.
On Fox, they all have nicknames now. Candidate Trump started the practice, and it soon spread to the children.
Videotape followed. References to "Tampon Tim" followed during the program, then during Jesse Watters Primetime in the 8 o'clock hour. The latter program was filled with braindead segments about the imagined state of the Obamas' marriage, and with other such distractions from actual news.
It would be hard to overstate a certain element of the dumpster fire Suzanne Scott throws on the air each night. The distinguishing characteristic of her various childish stars is the difficulty they seem to have with modern sexual politics—but also, with what might have seemed to be conventional notions of simple human courtesy.
When they go low, they then go lower—and the sexual panic is hard to miss. Here you see the handful of jokes which opened last evening's Gutfeld! program, starting at 10 o'clock sharp and running to 10:03:
Joke 1:
GUTFELD: Thanks to Donald Trump, the stranded astronauts finally made it home. They made it home in Elon Musk's Dragon capsule.
[CHEERING]
This as Joe Biden prepped his new capsule for his departure.
[PHOTO OF A HEARSE]
Joke 2:
GUTFELD: Many GOP lawmakers are praising Trump for his phone call with Vladimir Putin because Biden has refused to even pick up the phone.
In Biden's defense, this was his phone.
[PHOTO OF A CHILD'S TOY PHONE]
Joke 3:
GUTFELD: After stealing an ambulance, a Florida resident paused to drink a beer before surrendering to police.
Which raises this question—when did this woman move to Florida?
[PHOTO OF KAMALA HARRIS]
[LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE]
Joke 4:
GUTFELD: Whoopi Goldberg said that any cast member of The View could find themselves being deported.
Luckily for them, ICE can't legally deport livestock.
[PHOTO OF ALL FIVE CO-HOSTS OF THE VIEW]
Joke 5:
GUTFELD: Sleep experts say placing a piece of medical grade tape across your upper lip can reduce snoring.
And if you place it above your upper lip, you can also remove unwanted hair.
[PHOTO OF REP. RASHIDA TLAIB]
GUTFELD: We're always here to help.
Joke 6:
A mere masturbation joke.
Joke 7:
GUTFELD: The Blob fish, which was once deemed the world's ugliest animal, has made a resounding comeback to win "Fish of the year."
Coming in second place, once again, was the hagfish.
[PHOTO OF JOY BEHAR]
[APPLAUSE]
TYRUS: Well played.
Joke 8:
GUTFELD: WNBA player Cameron Brink said she only wants to practice with gay men.
In other words, her teammates.
Joke 9:
A joke about Don Lemon eating a dead rat on the sidewalk.
[APPLAUSE]
Joke 10:
GUTFELD: And finally, a new study claims that oral sex may lead to dementia.
"My husband has nothing to worry about," says one woman.
[PHOTO OF HILLARY CLINTON]
[APPLAUSE]
TYRUS: It's a hell of a tradeoff.
GUTFELD: Yeah.
It was now 10:03. Mercifully, the opening jokes were over. That said, Gutfeld had hit several of his favorite nightly topics:
On a nightly basis, Rep. Tlaib is now said to have a hairy face. The women of The View are compared to whales, to pigs, to horses or cows, or to some other large animal.
At the age of 83, it will routinely be noted that Joy Behar isn't attractive enough to meet Gutfeld's exacting standards. Also, Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay and Trans trans trans trans trans, night after night after night.
Judged by measures once thought to be common, it's hard to know who is more emotionally sick—this 60-year-old furious child or his grossly embarrassing audience. The former "wrestler" is by his side, pretending to be Ed McMahon.
Mercifully, the opening jokes were over. From there, the star delivered a monologue on his first substantive topic—the very questionable sexuality of the very gay Governor Walz.
As he delivered his monologue on this "topic," he was soon striking at a few more nightly targets:
GUTFELD: The problem is, like everything else they [the Democrats] do, [the clam that Candidate Walz was a man's man] just wasn't real. Just like Nancy Pelosi's face and Barack Obama's marriage.
[PHOTO OF PELOSI]
AUDIENCE: Ooohhhhh!
Concerning Walz, the little guy quickly added this:
"If that guy got any gayer, he would fart glitter."
It was now 10:07 p.m. Like rust itself, psychosexual panic and emotional disorder pretty much never sleep.
CEO Suzanne Scott puts this swill on the air every night of the week. What she does is an assault on the dying American project.
As this swill is broadcast each night, tribunes of Blue America have all agreed that they must never notice or speak. Robert Frost had a theory about such behavior:
. "Something we were withholding made us weak."
JD Vance Claims Kamala Harris Drank ‘Four Shots of Vodka’ Before Starting Day as VP—Says It Explains ‘Word Salads’
“ JD Vance Claims Kamala Harris Drank ‘Four Shots of Vodka’ Before Starting Day as VP”
ReplyDeleteLet me see if I have the MAGA debate tactic correct here:
You can’t dispute what Vance said, therefore it says something about you, not Vance. You must be a soros-bot.
Rinse and repeat.
Yeah, I wasn't watching Fox NOOZ last night, I tuned in to Rachel Maddow who reported on how now DOGE is seizing buildings with machine guns.
ReplyDeletehttps://digbysblog.net/2025/03/20/now-doge-has-machine-guns/
What’s changed (escalated) in the last week is that DOGE now has now forced its way into an independent, nonprofit, national institute separate from the Executive Branch, and did it by coopting D.C. Metro Police and Inter-Con, an armed, private security force with government contracts.
This isn't fucking funny anymore, Bob.
ReplyDeleteSo don't watch it. What's the problem?
I, for example, find the Lifetime channel horrible. So I don't watch it. End of story.
Cecelia has explained to you that Gutfeld gets high ratings, and it makes sense that someone out there should be paying attention to what all of these people are seeing on Fox News, since somerby thinks it informs their politics.
Delete@4:17 PM
DeleteI browsed those jokes, and I don't see a single political one among them. Biden, Harris, Clinton, Obama are all former politicians. Well, okay, Harris, Walz, I don't know. Not active nowadays anyhow. Pelosi, yeah, pretty much former. Hairy face?
What's political about any of this?
Anonymouse 4:17pm, that
DeleteAND it’s Bob’s blog. Go find one you like.
Somerby isn’t loyal to President Trump.
DeleteI think it’s important that Somerby points out the constant anti-gay and anti-trans rhetoric coming from the right wing these days. It has reached a fever pitch, it’s relentless, and I find it quite concerning. I haven’t seen it this vocal and this virulent in a long time, if ever. They are already taking away rights from trans people, and who knows what they intend for gay people. At the very least, I imagine that they are trying to make gay and trans people feel ashamed and afraid and force them back into the closet, just like they used to be pre-1960s. It all seems to me to be an effort to return society to the control of white, heterosexual men, as one Trump administration official put it recently.
ReplyDeleteAnonymouse 4:24pm, part of it is that few people can help getting exasperated at the Orwellian culture of this description and picture:
Deletehttps://abcnews.go.com/amp/US/woman-caught-plant-explosive-devices-tesla-dealership/story?id=119244251
And things like this:
https://x.com/tarabull808/status/1902661400511885646?s=42&t=oYvKLjVc8YzJIvwKoQTYBQ
President Trump is rebuilding America into a manufacturing economy that produces real goods and provides working class jobs. This is essential to our economy and our Freedom and Security. The Democrats and Academics are fighting against this as it will prove how useless they are.
DeleteCecelia, I don’t look at your links.
DeleteAnonymouse 5:49pm, no prob, they’re not to everyone’s taste.
Delete5:25,
DeleteNormally, I tell people to get their check for services from Trump before they do the work, but for you, I'll make an exception.
@4:24 - you claim there's constant anti-gay rhetoric coming from the right. If you were correct, there would be a great many examples. So, can you provide links to a half dozen or so examples of anti-gay rhetoric coming from the right?
Delete4:24, a word of advice, don't let the Dickhead in Cal jerk you around chasing his rabbit. This is his fucking entertainment. He is not sincere in any way shape or form.
DeleteDavid, of all people, asking for proof of claims.
DeleteHe's Clarence Thomas-level lazy, when it comes to debate.
@7:28 - Did you just a post a racist comment? What's your evidence that Thomas is lazy? Is it because of the ugly stereotype?
Deletehttps://newsone.com/4723257/breaking-down-the-stereotype-why-are-black-people-so-lazy/
BTW most Justices have their assistants write the decisions. Thomas goes to the effort of writing them himself.
"BTW most Justices have their assistants write the decisions. Thomas goes to the effort of writing them himself."
DeleteDE, motherfucking I, or what?
The Endeavor Air flight flipped in Toronto because the first officer was a woman.
ReplyDeleteDoes her birth certificate say she’s female?
DeleteThe democrat party is not democrats; they are crazy gay communists.
DeleteReminds me of that time Republican voters were so upset, they not only stamped their feet like two-year old girls throwing a temper tantrum because she didn't get a second piece of birthday cake, but also tried to overthrow the United States Capitol. All because black people's votes were counted in the 2020 Presidential election.
DeleteSay what you will about Republican voters, but you can't say they aren't childish racists.
The idea that there is a Republican voter who isn't a straight-up racist, might be the stupidest thing you'll read on the internet this century.
ReplyDeleteThe glue holding Tesla Cybertrucks together is bad. 8th recall. If this is what manufacturing in America is about, I’ll pay the tariffs.
ReplyDeleteWhich is worse, The View or The Five?
ReplyDeleteThe Six (Right-wing Supreme Court justices).
DeleteThe scary judges are the lower level judges who have assumed the power to overturn an enormous number of Trump's executive actions. This power is not enumerated in the Constitution nor is it in our laws. It's just a power that judges have assumed over the years.
DeleteDavid in Cal,
DeleteRemember when upsetting norms was one of the things you loved about Trump?
Pepperidge Farms remembers.
Courtesy of Ken White, on the Serious Trouble podcast:
ReplyDelete"Greg Gutfeld is what would happen if Gollum got a meth habit and a cable show."
You know there are actually some very funny right wing comedians, like Dennis Miller. OK, only one.
DeleteDennis Miller maybe was funny 30 years ago.
DeleteWhile Somerby wastes time on garbage like this, Robert Reich is making sense:
ReplyDelete"We cannot remain silent as Trump and Musk turn our democracy into a dictatorship. Silence suggests acquiescence — which is an abominable signal to send out in this national emergency.
Silence is also demoralizing to tens of millions of Americans, if not the majority, who are deeply shaken by what’s happening and bewildered by the lack of a strong counteroffensive. Their confusion and disaffection could make it even harder to take back the House and Senate next year.
No. It’s time to make our voices heard.
The next promising action occurs April 5 when Indivisible events, held by various local chapters, will span the whole country.
More details: https://handsoff2025.com/
https://robertreich.substack.com/p/making-good-trouble-on-april-5
It’s illegal to drill in the Cecelian Gulf.
ReplyDeleteIs it necessary to repeat so many Gutfeld jokes in order to make the point that he is not worth watching?
ReplyDeleteWhy isn't Somerby decrying the elimination of the Dept of Education by executive order today? Somerby used to care about education, proclaiming himself to be the only white man in America who really cares about educating those deserving beautiful black children. Does Somerby realize that there will be no more NAEP scores?
ReplyDeleteSomerby nails it.
ReplyDeleteAll Republican voters are pieces of shit.
"The scary judges are the lower level judges..."
ReplyDeleteYeah, let me finish that sentence for you as you botched it badly:
"...who use their standing as an impediment to justice, like that clown named Cannon in Florida who did everything she could to make sure Trump was never held accountable."
There, that's better.
Speaking of Social Security:
ReplyDeleteJudge stops Musk's team from 'unbridled access' to Social Security private data
March 20 (Reuters) - A federal judge said on Thursday the Social Security Administration likely violated privacy laws by giving tech billionaire Elon Musk's aides "unbridled access" to the data of millions of Americans, and ordered a halt to further record sharing.
...
"The DOGE Team is essentially engaged in a fishing expedition at SSA, in search of a fraud epidemic, based on little more than suspicion. It has launched a search for the proverbial needle in the haystack, without any concrete knowledge that the needle is actually in the haystack," Hollander said.
...
The information in SSA’s records includes Social Security numbers, personal medical and mental health records, driver’s license information, bank account data, tax information, earnings history, birth and marriage records, and employment and employer records, Judge Hollander said.
Hollander also noted that DOGE staffers had been granted anonymity in the proceeding due to fears for their safety.
"(The) defense does not appear to share a privacy concern for the millions of Americans whose SSA records were made available to the DOGE affiliates, without their consent, and which contain sensitive, confidential, and personally identifiable information,” the judge said.
Now let us see if the fascist regime complies with the court's order.
Delete"The DOGE Team is essentially engaged in a fishing expedition at SSA, in search of a fraud epidemic, based on little more than suspicion."
Yes. And the Democrats are desperate to stop the search for a fraud, waste and abuse epidemic.
Impeach the son of a bitch judge. Now.
What about the judge who trolled Trump by using the words "woefully insufficient" when referring to Trump's details about the deported Venezuelans? Everyone knows Trump has heard women using that phrase his entire adult life.
DeleteGive that judge a raise. Yesterday.
Trolling is fine, from both sides, though not a reason for getting a raise.
DeleteHowever, being on gangbanger's payroll, which that "judge" obviously is, is not fine. That one goes to Gitmo.
"woefully insufficient" is hilarious. You just know the teeny, tiny-handed President was fuming over that one. I'm sure it reminded him of all the women who rejected him, and laughed, at his stunted-growth mushroom dick.
DeleteI was hoping the judge would have handed Trump a giant magnifying glass to help him find the details.
DeleteThat would have been even funnier.
trump's & musk's dicks live inside my skull rent-free. and only they.
DeleteSounds like the very stable genius orange chickenshit could not offer a credible coherent explanation to the court for why he needed to violate the law and allow big balls to access private protected information. So sad.
DeleteI understand he fucked up by releasing SS#s in his ill thought out order to release unredacted JFK assassination files too. What a fucking dumb shit.
"The DOGE Team is essentially engaged in a fishing expedition at SSA, in search of a fraud epidemic, based on little more than suspicion. It has launched a search for the proverbial needle in the haystack, without any concrete knowledge that the needle is actually in the haystack," Hollander said.
DeleteAnyone who is certain that there is no fraud epidemic would say: 'search all your want, DOGE; there is nothing there'.
The only conceivable reason for trying to interrupt the search for a fraud epidemic, idiot-moonbat, is to protect the fraudsters.
Too bad the fraud couldn't explain to the judge why he had to violate the law to go on a wild goose hunt for his bullshit story that he was looking for fraud. The only fraud is him.
DeleteYes, idiot-moonbat, word-salad is always the best reply.
Delete"woefully insufficient"
DeleteLOL. That judge is a genius.
I can understand your confusion, Putin-bot. In America the citizens have rights to privacy. This isn't Russia where the only rights you have are what the Czar grants you.
DeleteYes, Soros-bot, it is confusing to me.
DeleteIt's the US of A, the year of the Lord 2025. One executive branch agency is tasked with auditing another. And, apparently, the executive branch must ask every federal judge in the country for consent. Is that it?
If that's the law, surely something's got to be done about it. I would suggest martial law. Effective immediately.
This is the problem with the Right in this country. All they do is whine and cry about how unfair life is.
DeleteC'mon, 9:05. Turn that frown upside down, and maybe, just maybe , a woman might be interested in sleeping with you.
Still going with the cover story about an audit? Where's the paperwork? Where is the congressional oversight? Where is the report? Who are the professional forensic auditors doing the work and what is their experience and professional resume? See, this is one of the consequences of electing a felon and lying sack of shit corrupt conman. Nobody believes his bullshit.
Delete
DeleteIf the executive branch is prevented from conducting its business, the executive branch will find a way to continue conducting its business.
Roosevelt did it in 1937, and Trump will find a way to do it in 2025. Idiot-Democrats will be left bitching and moaning. And who knows, some of them may end up in El Salvadorian gulag.
you want some cheese with that WhIne, maggot bitch snowflake
Delete6:37 We’ve already been told that SS is rife with fraud so where’s the beef? There is zero need to hinder what has already been done ,according to the bullshit artists in chief.
DeleteTrump is an expert when it comes to fraud, he has committed every type of fraud imaginable in his various businesses. Therefore, he should have told Elon the Nazi where to look right off the bat. Unfortunately, instead he made an ass of himself lying in his SOU about 350-year-olds collecting SS, when everybody including my kid sister already knew that hoax had been debunked weeks earlier. The good thing is most judges can smell bullshit from a mile away.
DeleteDonny Von Chickenshit is now moving on to asking his pets on the SC to overrule all judges who know what a lying sack of shit he is. It will be interesting to see how high Alito and Clarence jump.
About 2 million people watched Colbert make fun of politicians. Prior to that you watched South Park. Did they ruin the nation?
ReplyDeleteIt just occurred to me that a big factor in the rise of the national socialists in Germany was the publication of family trees. This avalanche of highly personalized data was the buzz that legitimized the absurdity of race science.
It wasn't low art that enabled the monsters, it was the spectacle of primitivist nationalist propaganda being given a hand accidentally by social institutes, churches, who kept those records, and who had to wata an elite militarist cult believe its own propaganda and fumble its management.
Today that information avalanche is the game of media algorithms, creating so many cults of personality that it's almost unthinkable to say you are not rooting for or against one side in a war, for or against a party etc.
The sanity you are hoping to return likely isn't the content of the information. Very wholesome content can get people to be distracted like the church records of Germany. It's just a hard limit in the human brain to have to cook with so many ingredients. The stupidity is actually a symptom of the brain trying to be rational, to cut through with the provided engineered stereotypes that pass off as democratic input. Propaganda that knows its audience had less time than ever to consider concepts, strategy, and find a sense of bravery in itself.
Bot.
DeleteBob, what exactly is "Blue America" supposed to do (as opposed to "powering ahead" I guess?) over the fact that a large swath of the American public likes puerile humor, transphobia, misogyny, etc? Maybe they should embrace woke-ism and try to leverage shame? I mean what is that you are advocating? Can you do some of the now and then? Some actual concrete suggestions?
ReplyDeleteGDS -Gutfield Derangement Syndrome - seriously, who cares about this moron?
ReplyDeleteNo wonder his parents abandoned him.
Delete