THE RATIONAL ANIMAL'S END: It's the easiest read of all time!

TUESDAY, MARCH 3, 2020

Unless you start checking its facts:
We'll say one thing for Alexis Coe's extremely strange new book:

Unless you decide to fact-check its claims, it doesn't take long to read it.

Coe's book is driven by an array of sexualized insults—sweeping claims which seem extremely unlikely just on their face. That said, fact-checking ceased to exist in the upper-end press corps at least thirty years ago.

The very concept of fact-checking has widely ceased to exist. This has helped make Coe's extremely strange book the shortest and the easiest read among all modern-era best-sellers, unless you throw in Jonathan Livingston Seagull and, of course, Love Story.

Coe's brief book carries this title: You Never Forget Your First: A Biography of George Washington. Just how short is Coe's extremely peculiar book?

So short that Professor Kars even mentioned this attribute in her inexcusable book review in Sunday's Washington Post, a review in which she restated Coe's peculiar claims in her own professorial voice.

In her own voice, Kars restated the claim that Washington's male biographers "have focused more on his masculine thighs than his dental ensemble." She restated the claim that these male biographers "have obsessed over Washington’s manliness," including "his imposing physique."

She restated the claim that Washington's childlessness has "made his male biographers defensive"—that these unnamed fellows have been "eager to explain [away] what might seem to detract from his legendary masculinity." She even restates the claim that one of these male biographers has even "stressed" the size of Washington's "massive" hands.

As Kars engages in this parrotry, she airbrushed Coe's crazier-sounding claims right out of existence. This includes the claim that Washington's manly thighs "drive [these biographers] wild" (Coe's italics), or her claim that "there's something hinky behind these biographers' repetitive insistence on Washington's conspicuous masculinity."

Have these hinky biographers really spent "dozens of pages discussing how [the childlessness] happened and why it doesn't detract from {Washington's] innate virility?" It didn't seem to occur to Kars that she should fact-check this early claim, or that she should be concerned by a peculiar fact:

Even in her end notes, Coe provides no specific example of any historian doing this. She forgets to tell us where we can go to see this behavior occurring.

Should this failure to provide specific citations be possible cause for concern? To rational animals, it certainly should be!

But in these latter days, neither our journalists nor our history professors are prepared to respond to such stimuli. Such instincts have joined the departed.

At one point in her inexcusable review, Kars seems to say that the highly peculiar Coe is a "credentialed historian." Just for the record, we think that may be misleading.

If we can believe the things she says, Coe does hold a master's degree in history. Perhaps a bit improbably, her degree is from Sarah Lawrence. But she holds no degree which more advanced, and she isn't a professor anywhere.

That doesn't mean that she couldn't produce an outstanding work of history. But she hasn't done so in this book, which is "uncommonly brief."

If we might borrow from Ed McMahon, how uncommon is it? Because it brings the eternal note of humor in, we thought we ought to consider that point in today's installment.

On its face, Coe's book is refreshingly brief. It ends on page 200—or on page 206, if you include its Epilogue. Meanwhile, these are "easy reader" pages. They're not too crowded with words.

Coe's book is a nice, short, easy read, but only if you're dumb enough to accept its claims at face value. By way of contrast, if you start fact-checking Coe's claims, your labors may never be done.

For the record, when we say the book runs 200 pages, we may be overstating a bit.

Too funny! Despite the fact that Coe's book is "uncommonly brief," it's divided into four separate Parts (Parts I, II, III and IV), and into a full twenty chapters. This allows the publisher to provide a comical amount of padding as Coe pretends to have written an actual book.

To what extent has Coe's text been padded, perhaps even fluffed? For starters, consider the empty pages.

Too funny! Whenever Coe concludes a chapter or a Part, ceremonial conduct occurs on the part of the publisher. Blank pages frequently pave the way for the next chapter or Part.

For this reason, quite a few of Coe's 200 pages are completely blank. As you can see if you thumb through her best-selling mess, the empty pages are these:
Empty pages in Coe's book:
Pages 2, 26, 34, 70, 100, 108, 112, 134, 152, 168, 180, 182, 186
Those thirteen (13) pages are all completely blank. Then too, the following pages contain no material except the title of the next Part:
Pages which only name the next part of the book:
Pages 1, 55, 109, 181
In short, seventeen (17) of the book's 200 pages contain no text at all.

There's certainly nothing "wrong" with writing a book so brief. But given the fraudulence of this book's foundational claims, we thought its uncommon brevity, and its occasionally comical padding, were perhaps worth noting.

Is it fair to say that that the publisher has actually "padded" Coe's book? We've reported, and you can decide! That said, the humor continues as we consider some of the material which lets the book achieve its apparent length.

If it's humor you enjoy, consider the way Coe chooses to start her climactory Part IV. She does so with a pointless section which burns pages 183-185. The short section—it's part of no chapter—is headlined like this:
HOECAKES
Washington's Favorite Breakfast
Aside from the need to pad the text, this pointless section does only one thing—it reproduces the recipe for Washington's favorite breakfast.

As a result, a seven-page chunk of this fraudulent book is burned away in this fashion:
Seven pages we'll never get back:
Page 180: Completely blank
Page 181: Title page for Part IV
Page 182: Completely blank

Pages 183-185: The recipe for Washington's favorite breakfast (page 185 contains only six lines)

Page 186: Completely blank again!
On page 187, Coe rises from her power nap and starts Chapter 17. She has just completed a seven-page chunk in which the reader is offered nothing aside from a recipe for hoecakes.

(We assume that isn't a sexual jibe. With Coe, you're never quite sure.)

At this point, let's be fair! We've been speaking about the body of Coe's best-seller—the part of the book which starts on page 1.

The body of this gonzo text is indeed "uncommonly brief." For that reason, its slightly odd to see what precedes it.

So cool! Before we reach the body of Coe's book, we are treated to a ten-page Introduction. And before we reach the Introduction, we get a six-page Preface!

In short, Coe clears her throat for sixteen pages before she launches her "uncommonly brief," padded text. We refer to pages xxv through xl, the only pages in this strange book anyone is discussing.

It's in these pages where Coe launches the sexualized attacks which constitute the only reason anyone is discussing her disordered, very strange book. In Sunday's Washington Post, Professor Kars restated Coe's improbable claims in her own voice, without offering any sign that she'd bothered with any fact-checking.

In the course of presenting her sweeping claims, Coe names four Washington biographers. Ron Chernow is the principal villain of her piece, but she names three other names:

Joseph Ellis, Richard Brookhiser, Harlow Giles Unger.

According to Coe's extremely strange text, these are four of "The Thigh Men of Dad History." According to Coe, George Washington's manly thighs have "driven these biographers wild" (Coe's italics).

For a slightly fuller chunk of Coe's text, you can just click here. But with Chernow as the principal scourge, these are four of the men who have allegedly committed the offenses we cite above.

Concerning Coe's sexualized accusations, we will only say this:

Friend, can you can read those very strange claims without suspecting that a bit of fact-checking might be in order? If you can, it seems to us that you've missed the last forty years of American life, and perhaps the bulk of human existence.

Over the past three or four decades, American discourse has increasingly been driven by wild and crazy assertions. The Clintons murdered all sorts of people. Al Gore kept making crazy claims—and, according to Chris Matthews, he was "today's man-woman."

These crazy, routinely sexualized assertions have changed the course of world history. To the extent that these crazy assertions were aimed at Hillary Clinton, they almost surely explain why Donald J. Trump currently sits where he does.

The upper-end American press corps has routinely invented and pushed these crazy claims. (For roughly a decade, Matthews' sexualized sliming of Hillary Clinton was common.)

As this happened, the nation's professors sat around and stared off into the air. On Sunday, Professor Kars came along to teach the lesson all over again—there's nothing so stupid that it won't be affirmed so long as it drives tribal narrative.

Can a modern nation survive such a culture? Anthropologists insist that this is what we humans were like all along!

Tomorrow: Chernow, tooth and thigh

37 comments:

  1. Perhaps (if we may venture a guess), dear Bob, your zombie comrades crave to appear human, to openly enjoy dirty jokes and sexual innuendo.

    But of course they can't, because they are, well, zombies.

    But with this Coe's clowning -- suddenly they can! Because it's, y'know, educational... They are not discussing dirty jokes, they are educating themselves, and on a high-brow subject, no less.

    How do you like my theory, dear Bob? Ring true?

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  2. Somerby claims that Coe needs to be fact-checked and blames Coe for not providing sufficient quotes from other bios to support her contention that those other authors are trying to exaggerate Washington's manliness. However, Somerby is the one asserting that Coe is wrong, so the burden of proof lies with him and he has provided not one single fact check of his own. Instead, he expects us to either take his word or go through those various bios (4 specified by author name) in order to do his fact-checking for him. That isn't how this works. If he were writing a critical review, he would be expected to provide multiple examples himself, not simply say that Coe is odd or hinky or whatever adjective he chooses to use to destroy an author's career without proof.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope. This is how it works: Coe makes a claim; Coe has the burdens of production and proof. TDH says

      Even in her end notes, Coe provides no specific example of any historian doing this. She forgets to tell us where we can go to see this behavior occurring.

      If you'd like to show TDH is wrong, read Coe and find the info that TDH missed.

      Delete
    2. TDH is better at repeating Right-wing grievances, than at book reviewing.

      Delete
  3. Here is a comparable book from Amazon.com:

    Justin McElroy, The Sawbones Book: The Hilarious, Horrifying Road to Modern Medicine. It is divided into 4 parts. It has 216 pages, some of them presumably blank by publisher convention. The author runs a podcast and is not a professor.

    Why not single this one out? Perhaps because the author isn't female and isn't writing about George Washington's manliness?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's an illustrated book.

      Delete
    2. So what? It also isn't about George Washington. But it is lightweight entertaining history for the general public.

      Somerby expects Coe to have written a scholarly work, when, as he himself notes, she is not a professor and not writing for an academic audience.

      Delete
    3. You would expect a respected biography, a worthwhile biography, to have more heft and not that of a lightweight illustrated book. Some people would anyway. To some people, its comparison to a lightweight illustrated book says something about its true value. What do you think?

      Delete
    4. Like the author who is writing a four book biography of Lyndon B Johnson. that is not written for an academic audience either nor is it lightweight and pithy like some illustrated books. But it is very very well respected. And those are supposed to be some of the best biographies written by a modern writer in modern times.

      Delete
    5. Coe's book is intended to be myth-busting and humor, not a complete biography. "In her form-shattering and myth-crushing book...Coe examines myths with mirth, and writes history with humor..." says Boston Globe. That's why her book is not 800 pages long.

      Somerby of course believes that comedy is only for men.

      Delete
    6. I guess he mistook it for a serious book and didn't realize it was lightweight comedy.

      Delete
    7. All those blurbs that Somerby complains about describe Coe's book as humorous. Somerby is being dishonest about Coe's intent and he is certainly not revealing his actual motives for attacking this author in such unfair ways. Usually there is an emotional motive when someone behaves irrationally, as Somerby is doing. I would suggest that Somerby has some problem with female humorists, especially successful ones who manage to get THEIR books published, but someone might accuse me of sexualizing Somerby or faking my blurbs or making up my references or other such nonsense.

      Delete
    8. TDH doesn't talk about Coe's intent.
      TDH complains about Coe's inventing things.
      None of TDH's criticisms are unfair or irrational.
      You have no idea what TDH thinks about "female humorists."

      No one is accusing you of "sexualizing Somerby," an odd thing to say.

      I'm accusing you of being a troll.

      Begone troll!

      Delete
  4. Here is a quote from Ellis's biography of Washington entitled: His Excellency, George Washington. He describes what John Washington [father of George] bequeathed to his descendants:

    "first, a passion for acreage, the more of it the better; second, tall and physically strong males..."

    This is found in the brief excerpted sample posted from the book, which gives details of Washington's early life.

    It seems likely from this that Ellis will continue that theme about Washington's physical robustness later in the book, since he sets it up early on.

    This supports Coe, not Somerby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It seems likely, eh? But you didn't read the book, just a "brief excerpted sample."

      Get back to us when you have, which doesn't seem likely.

      Delete
  5. Richard Brookhiser wrote: George Washington, A National Treasure. It describes the Lansdowne portrait. It includes essays that "reflect on how this remarkable painting explains the nature of Washington and his importance in the national psyche..."

    The mentions of Washington's thighs may have proceeded from this discussion of a portrait. If the various essays gush a bit and Coe makes sport of it, I don't see that this merits Somerby's extreme reaction, including the suggestion that Coe made it all up (which is what a claim about fact-checking implies).

    I would provide quotes but I have no intention of buying any of these books just to fact-check Somerby's accusations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The mentions of thighs may have proceeded from this discussion? Was there any discussion of thighs?

      Oh, yeah. You don't know because you have "no intention" of finding out.

      Well, thanks for sharing anyway.

      Delete
  6. Harlow Giles Unger wrote "The Unexpected George Washington: His Private Life."

    According to Amazon, the inside flap says:

    "Washington was a passionate man who laughed, loved, and lived life to the full; he adored women, children, plants and flowers, hunting, gambling, fine wines, and luxuries of every kind. A dashing giant of a man, he was the greatest horseman of his day, yet his social graces left ladies swooning...More than Franklin, more than Jefferson, Washington was a genius, a scientist, inventor, architect, scholar, and entrepreneur..." And so it goes on. Later, it talks about Martha putting up with "his passions for drink, cards, horse racing, hunting, and bawdy jokes."

    This description from Unger's book tends to support Coe, not Somerby's criticism of her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Washington liked flowers and bawdy jokes. And you think that description supports Coe's claims about obsession with thighs?

      Get back to us when you've read more than the inside flap of a book.

      Delete
  7. How has Coe sexualized anything when these other authors all describe Washington as lusty, passionate and a man's man? This over the top, gushing language applied to Washington came first. Coe is pointing them out, but Somerby accuses her of sexualizing Washington?

    This reminds me of the psychiatrist who comments on a patient's sexual descriptions of the Rorschach plates, and the patient replies "But Doctor, you're the one showing me the dirty pictures."

    Somerby wants us to accept that this is just factual description of the way Washington really was, not an overblown description of what previous historians thought an alpha male, founder of our nation, should have been like.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I posted this on the previous thread when it was more or less dead, so I might as well try again here:

    The idea that people sometimes become obsessed with pointless trivial matters of style and presentation rather than with substance is a familiar one for Somerby, so I am not sure why he reacts so negatively to the suggestion in this case.

    I have not read Coe's book yet, but it seems that possible parallels here would be:

    Washington = Al Gore

    Thigh men = Cable TV pundits (albeit with a positive rather than negative spin on trivial matters)

    Coe = Somerby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Didn't do too well on the analogy sections of those standardized tests, I'm guessing.

      Are your serious with this or are you just another troll?

      Delete

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