No one escapes corporate cable: No one escapes "cable news" with his or her soul intact. Or at least, so we thought as we watched Lawrence last night.
The show opened with 34 (34) unbroken minutes concerning Donald J. Trump and The Sex. As the marathon finally neared its first commercial break, Joy Reid—who used to be smart before cable—ruminated as shown below.
Reid was speaking with the slimy barrister, Michael Avenatti. With apologies, we're clarifying the transcript as best we can. We can't check it against videotape:
REID (4/5/18): There are two reasons why the Stormy Daniels situation is odd. One is the amount.This is what Reid was wondering after a full, unbroken half-hour of this churning of slime. Sad! Almost everything she says there is 1) slimy, slippery, slithery and 2) extremely dumb.
If you pay somebody off, $130,000 is an odd number. Why not give her 150 or $125,000 or sort of a number that seems round? $130,000 makes you wonder is this a piece of a larger fund.
The other piece of the question is, after Access Hollywood and after it did nothing to his poll numbers, the absolute support he has, particularly among white evangelical voters, who said they don't care if he's sleeping with women, why is it this woman, this case, freaks him out? Is it because she is a port to knowing that he's sleeping with other—his voters don't care.
So is it that—and this is a question I guess I would have for Michael:
If there are other women, were these all consensual relationships? Because I can't—I mean, remember, Donald Trump also, by the election, had, what, 14 or 15 women who alleged non-consensual sexual behavior on the part of Donald Trump?
My curiosity wonders, is that why he's worried? Are there women who got payments who would not characterize their relationship the way that Stormy Daniels did, and does she know about that? This one woman freaking him out this much raises so many questions.
Why did Clifford get paid an odd amount? Duh! Negotiations produce irregular contract numbers all the freaking time! Who on this planet doesn't know this? Only someone whose heart, mind, soul and intelligence have been eaten by cable news and the corporate interests it serves.
Regarding the possibility of non-consensual relationships which Clifford would magically know about, this is simply the slime of cable dragging Reid's mind down.
Below, we'll show you what these damaged people weren't discussing as they spent their evening discussing this. First, though, we'll post the "complete speculation" Avenatti now favored us with.
Warning! According to this ultimate slimeball, "a lot of people have a lot of speculation relating to what [Trump's] relationship with Melania looks like."
Here in Our Eternal Salem, slimeballs never stop asking themselves questions like that. A consummate slimeball speaks:
AVENATTI (continuing directly): I have my own personal theory, it's complete speculation, I`m happy to provide it. I think the reason why this freaks him out so much, and why he is so concerned and scared to come out against my client, is because of the timing of when this occurred because it happened to occur within months of the birth of his son. And I believe—Donald J. Trump is a world-class slimeball. Avenatti is slimier, as he makes clear in that peroration about what Melania may have said in 2006, back when her son was born.
LAWRENCE: The actual time spent with Stormy Daniels was four months after his last child one born.
AVENATTI: Yes. That is correct. And a lot of people have a lot of speculation relating to what that relationship with Melania looks like. A lot of people speculate to a host of things, but the fact of the matter is no one knows, because we're not in that relationship. We don't know what that relationship is, how it's evolved or changed over the months or years they've been together.
Is it possible in any view, I think it is— Is it possible that this was the one time period in that relationship, around the birth of their son, where Melania said, "If you want to carry on at other times, fine, but around the birth of our son, No Mas. This is going to be a sacred time period." It wouldn't be unusual for a woman to take that position quite honestly or a spouse and so—
O`DONNELL: Well, a woman who's dealing with someone like Donald Trump—
AVENATTI: Well correct. and so I think that's a possibility and think the timing of this is really what drives it. And I've always believed that. The timing of when they got together in relation to the birth of his son.
Avenatti is a consummate slimeball. Pathetically, he's also an "MSNBC contributor" at this point in time. They're paying him to entertain us in this pitiful, slimy way. Lawrence is there to help.
As these slimeballs slithered like this, what weren't they talking about? One hour earlier, on CNN, Anderson Cooper had hosted a news report about the suffering people from Honduras who are moving north through Mexico in the so-called immigrant "caravan."
CNN's Leyla Santagio reported live from Pueblo, Mexico. This is what our own team's slimeballs will never talk about:
SANTIAGO (4/5/18): They are women, children, men, families. This is the caravan President Trump calls dangerous.Santiago went on from there, briefly helping CNN viewers understand the suffering of the wretched of the earth.
(IMMIGRANT, SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
SANTIAGO: She said, they're not armed. They only have the very basics.
Karen Gallo joined the group in southern Mexico. They left Honduras twenty days ago. And the entire family is traveling together. This is Mom, Dad, one of the kids and there is another kid that has made the journey as well. They're heading to the United States.
They never expected to catch the attention of President Trump but that's exactly what the group did when about 1200 gathered in southern Mexico nearly two weeks ago for an annual pilgrimage that's been organized for more than five years.
Lillian Mejia is from El Salvador. She's a mom. She left two children there.
(IMMIGRANT, SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
SANTIAGO: She says there's no work in El Salvador and there's also a lot of gang violence that's why she left. Only clothes and shoes in her back pack as she heads to the United States, hoping to find a job to send money back to her children, to help them escape poverty and violence.
El Salvador and Honduras have murder rates that are among the highest in the world.
On MSNBC, a gang of millionaires and near-millionaires were slithering around, wondering whether Donald J. Trump has been f**king Melania. The slimiest lawyer on cable to date was happy to provide his complete speculation about what Melania may have said in 2006, upon the birth of her son.
They would jump off the Golden Gate Bridge before they'd stoop to discuss of the good decent suffering people in the lands to our south. Before they'd humanize their viewers.
Corporate cable feeds us this. On the bright side, people like Lawrence get very rich—so rich that you aren't allowed to know how much his bosses pay him to degrade us in this way.
MSNBC is a curse. It eats the souls of the people it hires. Can a modern continental nation survive avarice of this type?