ANGER: The Termagant sat surrounded by Usefuls!

THURSDAY, JULY 25, 2024

"IDIOT," he instantly said: It was Monday evening, July 22. The Termagant sat on a Fox News Channel set, presiding over a gathering of Usefuls.

The show was broadcast at 10 o'clock Eastern. If normal procedures had been followed, the program had begun to tape at 6:15 p.m. 

As is his wont, The Termagant opened with a handful of jokes. For those condemned to be watching at home, this bracing bit of analysis was offered at 10:02 Eastern:

TERMAGANT (7/22/24) Now that all the Democratic Party's hopes are resting on the VP, once again they are saying that mispronouncing her name is racist. 

Remember, it's not "KAHM-ala." It's "IDIOT!"

[APPRECIATIVE LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE]

Thus spake The Termagant, encased in a chorus of Usefuls. As he delivered this bit of messaging, his program was two minutes old. 

So it goes, night after night, in this, the American nation. In his very next joke, the Termagant delivered what has become a nightly theme:

Now that President Biden has left the campaign, Hunter Biden and first lady Jill Biden may be "dating" or "f*cking." 

In yesterday's report, we transcribed the text of these recent jokes. Last night, the angry fellow delivered that message again, this time a bit later in the primetime "cable news" program than has become the norm.

Back to the gaggle of Usefuls! Yesterday, we called the roll of Monday evening's collection. The roster looked like this:

It included a 23-year-old model and actress who "has begun to dabble in politics."

It included a 400-pound former "wrestling champion" who spent the evening saying and suggesting that "Dr. President Jill" had been the secret mastermind behind a recent assassination attempt, but also behind the withdrawal from Afghanistan in the summer of 2021.

It included a 65-year-old "American media personality" who had grown up with every apparent advantage, but chose to appear on this program all the same.

It included the person who is cast, and who performs, as he program's more thoughtful "libertarian." As you can see by clicking this link, she was soon marveling at this fact about the previous day's announcement by President Joseph R. Biden:

TIMPF (7/22/24): The dude drops out on Twitter! It's like, it's like, you can't—

It's all so crazy, and it's crazy in ways that none of us can expect.  I mean, where is he? 

Where is he? the Thoughtful Cast Member said. Scornfully, she said the president's failure to appear in public was "crazy in ways that none of us can expect." 

For the record, the dude in question is 81 years old. As everyone else on the planet knew, he had been at home, recovering from Covid, when he made his announcement. 

Everyone understood this fact—everyone except The Usefuls and The Termagant himself. 

Sad! Timpf was extending a point of feigned puzzlement The Termagant himself had introduced in the program's very first minute. In the program's very next minute, he was messaging the claim in which Vice President Harris is an IDIOT. 

The reason for the president's failure to make a public appearance was never mentioned this night.

So it went as this gaggle of Usefuls advanced the messaging of the "cable news" channel which pays them. So it went as a 400-pound professional wrestler kept suggesting that the first lady had somehow been involved in a recent assassination attempt. 

Conspiracy theories were floating about as the hour proceeded. As early as 10:07 p.m., The Termagant almost seemed to be floating one such idea by saying that he wasn't. 

("I'm not suggesting the Dems tried to have Trump killed.")

He may not have been suggesting that, but the wrestler was less fastidious. Meanwhile, the astounding stupidity of this panel was showcased all through the night.

For the record, it isn't the fault of the 23-uear-old model that she's only begun to dabble. She didn't book herself on the show—though we'll assume that the suits who accomplished that task understood what they'd be getting.

During the course of the hour-long program, this particular Useful engaged in a world-record assortment of absurd speculations:

She suggested that Hillary Clinton might end up replacing Vice President Harris as the Democratic candidate for president.

("I know she endorsed Kamala," The Dabbler said at one point. But "I think it will be the least embarrassing path the Democrats can take.")

Also this! Why hadn't Barack Obama endorsed Harris yet? 

The Dabbler was asked, and the Dabbler answered:

"He might be chirping in Michelle's ear, Hey, this might be your time to run, which I don't really think is that far-fetched."

She didn't think it was that far-fetched! Later, Gutfeld himself advanced the idea that Hillary Clinton will be named as Candidate Harris' running mate.

He explicitly described the idea as his personal theory. Eventually, the ruminations about the possible running mate led to this excursion:

GUTFELD: Dr Drew, I don't think any VP will help her unless it's like a name.

PINSKY: I agree with you completely, but she might come up with somebody, right? This is going to seem maybe silly, but I don't understand—RFK is taking a certain percentage of the populace. Why doesn't someone try to cozy up to him?

It seems like that would be interesting. But would he be too far away from her platform?

Gutfeld said that didn't make sense. The Dabbler then offered this:

AUSTIN: I think Bobby's too presidential for that anyway. Her actually makes most sense out of any other Democrat I've seen—but Andrew Yang is very popular. He's very likable. I'm very surprised he wasn't on that list.

She can't believe that Yang isn't on the list! Meanwhile, Bobby makes the most sense, she said. But he's just too presidential!

(At no point were any actual names on the actual list ever actually mentioned. So it tends to go on this imitation of life.)

There's nothing morally wrong with seeming to know nothing at all about the imaginable shape of American party politics. That isn't a moral flaw. 

On the other hand, it might suggest that such people might not be good selections for an hour-long, primetime discussion of such important events.

It isn't the fault of the 23-year-old model and actress that she thinks the things she does. That said, she was also soon describing what had been said about her all day, and she was helping show why such things had been said:

("I've been called a conspiracy theorist all day," she said. She then proceeded to float the theory that had produced such rebukes.)

More on that tomorrow. Meanwhile, the wrestler spent the evening suggesting that "Dr. President Jill" was complicit in the assassination attempt, but also in the botched withdrawal from Afghanistan. So it went as the Fox News Channel opened the garbage can.

"America is a stupid nation." So said Candidate Trump, yesterday, in a rally.  In large part thanks to his own efforts, he may have the germ of a point. 

What isn't stupid is the reasoning behind the nightly booking of these Usefuls as guests. They're released on the air to promote approved points, and that's what they reliably do.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but our nation's brain cells are under assault from grimy shows like Gutfeld!

Its angry host calls women names, especially when they're too fat. He says he hopes that Hunter and Jill aren't f*cking at this point.

When asked to pronounce a certain person's name correctly, he supplies his replacement: 

IDIOT.

The anger of the termagant makes him very stupid. But as this grimy little guy swings from trees in the manner described, propaganda is being pushed and Blue America's major thought leaders agree to avert their gaze.

Sacred Troy must die, noble Hector said. How about sacred America?

IDIOT, The Termagant said. As he angrily offered his thought, he was surrounded by USEFULS.

Tomorrow: Highly expert professional wrestler nails "Dr. President Jill"