Epilogue—While Anderson diddles top Playmate: In our view, the headlines on Fred Kaplan's new piece at Slate pretty much says it all.
Here's how the piece is currently teased on the site's front page:
It’s Time to Panic NowKaplan says Trump is headed for war. Last night, the first hour of Anderson's Playpen, the CNN program, began in a similar way.
John Bolton’s appointment as national security adviser puts us on a path to war.
Briefly, Cooper teased the upcoming fun with former Playmate Karen McDougal. But then, the heir apparent to Pee Wee Herman discussed the Bolton appointment with a pair of analysts, including David Gergen.
Gergen expressed his concern about Bolton's appointment. At one point, the two gents even said this:
GERGEN (3/22/18): [Trump] has thrown off the training wheels and essentially says, "I can do this on my own." But he's surrounded himself in the meantime with hard-liners.Bolton is going to start some wars! He won't need Donald J. Trump!
The idea that Bolton is simply going to present him with the views of everybody else—
COOPER: And won't, quote, "start any wars"—
GERGEN: And won't start any wars— He is going to have strong views himself.
Cooper permitted a bit of this—but then, at 8:11 PM, reality screeched to a halt. Cooper teased McDougal again, then brought her on at 8:15, after a commercial break designed to pay his huge salary.
(How much is Anderson Cooper paid? You aren't allowed to know.)
Finally! Finally, Cooper could enjoy some good solid "cable news" fun with his latest Playmate! There followed a surprisingly incompetent interview with McDougal, who wants the nation to hear about her endless consensual f**king with Trump, mainly in 2006, but also in 2007!
(We attribute our lexicography to the new and improved S***n.)
McDougal went on, and on and on, about all her consensual f**king with Trump. And dear God! At one point, our analysts realized, to their chagrin, that Cooper had extended the endless interview fun into the 9 PM hour!
Finally, the talk about all the f**king was done. By 9:30, a panel of pundits were noting the basic facts Cooper had failed to nail down.
We can't quote what the pundits said. Presumably for financial reasons, CNN hasn't posted transcripts for the two hours of last evening's Anderson's Playpen.
As we type, the network has posted transcripts for its 7, 10 and 11 PM hours, but not for the 8 and 9 PM hours. Presumably, this is being done for some financial reason.
That said, we can tell you this:
The pundits noted that Cooper had failed to establish some basic factual points. McDougal seemed to say that she had wanted her exciting story to be killed by AMI, corporate arm of The National Enquirer. She wanted them to kill her story about all the f**king when she signed her AMI contract.
Within that somewhat surprising context, Cooper failed to establish the basis upon which McDougal is now suing the giant of sleaze. Starting around 9:30, several pundits noted that Cooper had failed to establish this point.
Speaking of giants of sleaze, Cooper spent the bulk of the evening diddling his new favorite Playpen Pal. This Sunday night, on 60 Minutes, hes going to do this same darn thing, this time with Stephanie Clifford!
(Will she have her underpants on? Avenatti says you'll have to tune in to see!)
Last night, Cooper and McDougal went on and on, then on and on, hashing out all the consensual f**king. As Cooper and his Playmate did this, Kaplan was preparing his warning:
Trump is headed for war!
Has there ever been an evening on "cable news" when our basic thesis became more clear? The life forms you see on your "cable news" programs almost surely aren't human!
That panel of pundits spent some time discussing Anderson's interview. Eventually, Dana Bash made the definitive point:
"I couldn't stop watching," she said. That's the anthropological point we've made again and again!
Increasingly, there's a very good chance that Donald J. Trump is going to start a real war. Regarding us humans, we'll only say this:
We simply weren't built for this game.
Also this: A new Podcast at Slate bears this title, as seen out on Slate's front page:
Is Stormy Daniels a Feminist Hero?To hear the Podcast, just click here. We'll try to force ourselves to discuss what was said in an afternoon post.